Elder for Saturday

I am teaching a Singing the Goddess Workshop Saturday at Our Lady of the Earth and Sky's Community Festival. (I also hope to exhibit and sell some of my crocheted pieces, some copies of A Winter Solstice Singing Ritual, and some copies of The Earth Will Turn Over.)

And I am having an attack of introversion.

So I am looking for some folks to act as elders/companions in the ministry/spiritual support persons.

What does such a person do?

• Hold me in the Light/in spiritual care, any of the following times: between now and the workshop; during the day Saturday while I'm at OLOTEAS; and from 7-8 Pacific Time Saturday while I'm actually in the workshop. You could be anywhere and help me this way. :) I am hoping several people will agree to do this.

• If you're in the Puget Sound area, come with me to OLOTEAS on Saturday, spend the day with me there, and be present during my workshop while holding me in the Light/in spiritual care.

In the past, I've had the experience where knowing that folks were holding me in their spiritual care/in the Light/in the care of That-Which-Is-Sacred has made a huge difference for me when doing something challenging.

I'm not sure why Saturday feels like something challenging, but it does; it could simply be the prospect of spending the day with a bunch of people I don't know very well!

So if you can help me out, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks.

Not-quite-OT: Scottish Country Dancing

Some of you know that one of the things I am passionate about is Scottish Country Dancing, and that I also teach it. (I, half-jokingly, posted instructions for the dance Wild Geese to the Brigid poetry slam.)

Here is a video (link here) to a group of very ordinary dancers doing an amazing thing -- setting a world record for the number of people dancing together. These are all dances I've done, and the Eightsome Reel is one of my favorites, and which I haven't had the chance to dance in much too long.

Note the intergenerational and social aspects of this! :) Also note the really amazing St. Andrew's Cross that the combined sets make when viewed from above.



And here is a video (link here) to another group of Scottish dancers (country and highland) doing something very clever and very silly...



Enjoy!

Explicit Meeting for Worship?

Some thoughts from a recent First Day Meeting for Worship. - sm

Is it "all right" to have explicitly Pagan Meeting for Worship?

Let's turn it around. Is it "all right" to have explicitly Christian Meeting for Worship?

It's not just our Christian roots as Friends that make it acceptable to us to sit in expectant waiting on Jesus or Christ. It's that Christianity is the dominant culture in our country in terms of religion -- the dominant group.

But That-Which-Is-Sacred is bigger than just Jesus. It's bigger, even, than the Trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost/Holy Spirit.

To some Christians, that's heresy: "Godless Pagans!"

And yet, to many Pagans, a refusal to recognize the Goddess -- the Divine Feminine, the Earth Who nurtures us and on Whom we are dependent for life -- is heresy: "Goddessless Christians!"

(And, in the words of Sojourner Truth, "Where did your Christ come from?")

If the Divine is bigger than Jesus or the Goddess (or the God), should we sit in expectant waiting on those -- or any -- particular facets of the Divine?

The faces of the Divine we know, with which we have experience, are the ones that are the most accessible to us. They are the facets through which we come to know the whole, or more of the whole, because as humans, we can never fully comprehend or know the Whole of the Divine.

Notes from a talk by Gene Robinson in Seattle

Gene Robinson, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire, gave a talk in Seattle on January 12, 2009. Here are some of my notes from his talk.

Robinson is the first openly gay bishop to serve in this function. He's also an amazingly loving human being.

Why did I go to his talk, and why am I posting about it here?

I went to his talk because I believe in the work he's doing, even if he's a member of a patriarchal religion with which I have some essential issues and disagreements. I went because I have Episcopal and Anglican friends to whom this is important.

Mostly, I went because I respect his courage and wanted to affirm it and support it.

I expected, based on the little of his book I've yet read, and on hearing retired Episopal Bishop John Shelby Spong speak at FGC Gathering, for Robinson's talk to be very legalistic in terms of faith and canon law. It was anything but.

I found Robinson's talk to be inspiring, warm, and loving. It provided me with some interesting insight.

I also found that Robinson has some things to say to Friends, whether he or we realize it or not. I very much hope he can be our plenary speaker at an upcoming FGC Gathering.

- sm

For my friend d: as a bishop, Robinson gets to wear a fuchsia shirt every day.

I am so lucky to have come out into a faith community. [Note: when I came out, I almost immediately found Dignity/Baltimore; I lost neither my relationship with the Divine, nor spiritual community, for coming out. For far too many LGBTQ folks, coming out means losing our faith communities.]

Some "...called on me to resign, naively believing that if I go away, this issue will go away"

"Most of the discrimination GLBT people have faced is at the hands of people of faith," especially the three Abrahamic religions

"Spilling of seed" related to ancient vs. modern understanding of biology and reproduction; also why prohibition against male homosexual behavior

"Jesus, not the Bible, is the perfect revelation of God" --> Jesus as Word
--> placing the Bible above Jesus as revealed Word of God "is a form of idolatry"
--> Holy Spirit as avenue of revealed truth
--> biblical basis of [Friends concept of] continuing revelation
--> Jesus' words from the Last Supper: "Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth"

sin of heterosexism in secular society rather than of homophobia
--> must dismantle that system of privileges

"I believe that what we are up against in this struggle is the beginning of the end of patriarchy" --> rooted in sexism and misogyny
- "Patriarchy is at the beginning of the end in the Church"

in no other area are our laws so rooted in religion

political decisions -- ie, how I vote -- should be based on what my faith tells me, not what God says or what religion says

distinction between civil rights and religious rites
- separate where each happens and who does each
- great educational tool

Q&A
- "We have to be the Church God is calling us to be" with respect to LGBTQ inclusion; "We know [this vision/this version of it] doesn't make sense to you"
- Seeing Gene Robinson and George Bush both as America pushing itself on everyone else (particularly in Africa) - "drunken cowboy" ("That's probably the worst thing anybody's ever said about me")

Another cost of bigotry, classism, bullying, homophobia, and heterosexism

I spent the weekend in Molalla, OR, at the Mid-Winter Gathering for Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns. And I've been thinking about something that came up the last day in my worship-sharing group.

I recently became Facebook friends with someone I'd been friends with in high school. I sought her out and "friended" her; she accepted, with a note that she'd been wondering when I'd turn up, since it seemed like just about everyone else had.

This gave me pause.

I've kept in touch with almost no one I went to high school with. The two notable exceptions are my best friend from those days -- who is also on Facebook -- and someone else I barely knew, who'd gone to the same college but whom I'd easily avoided there, but whom I discovered many years later is also a lesbian and a also feminist Jew.

I hated high school. I was a charity kid at an all-girls' private college-prep day and boarding school. I got an excellent education and had a terrible time. I had a panic attack the first time I went back on campus after graduation.

There were so many ways I didn't fit in. The most obvious was class. Everybody knew I was one of the charity kids. I wore the wrong clothes. My parents drove me back and forth to school every day in the wrong kind of car -- a beat-up old jalopy, not a shiny BMW or Mercedes. We didn't vacation in the right places (we didn't go on vacation at all). I'd never been out of the US, or even on an airplane. I'd never ridden a horse, except for ponies at the occasional fair, and one summer when I got financial aid to the archdiocesan day camp, both of which definitely didn't count. I was also two or three years younger than most of my classmates, most of whom had been together through middle school, some since elementary school, although there was always an influx of new girls in 9th grade. Being "the smart one" was no help.

I developed a small group of friends -- 6 of us from different grades who hung out together and, for the most part, kept each other sane.

In 9th or 10th grade, the guidance counselor called my then-mother to alert her that she was going to call me in for a conference. Because some of the other girls had come to her saying that I was a lesbian and that my best friend and I were lovers.

I didn't entirely understand this when I was told about it, but I knew it was a terrible thing. I didn't even know what lesbians were. When I asked, I was told they were women who liked to sleep with other women, and I was really puzzled: Why? And besides, I wasn't having sex with anybody. And besides again, what could two girls do in bed together? (I have to snicker at this one, because by senior year, I knew -- thanks to my boyfriend -- just how much sex, and fun, two consenting teenagers can have without ever technically meeting the definition of "sex" I held back then.)

What it boiled down to was this: my best friend and I were too physically affectionnate with each other, and it had to stop. And our friendship was too intense, too, so we'd better scale that back.

Except it's not like the harassment stopped.

I couldn't win.

I realized the confrontation with the school counselor -- and a right nasty confrontation it was, with me in hysterical tears -- was related to a whole bunch of outright harassment from a particular group of girls, and more covert harassment from others. And that harassment only got worse. I was so tired of being afraid to be alone with my classmates.

Fast forward fifteen or so years. I was reading my college's alumnae magazine, and in the news about the class who'd been seniors my first year, read about someone spending the millenium in Paris with her girlfriend. And then I realized, this was someone who'd also gone to my high school. I wasn't the only one. I'd known that statistically I probably wasn't... but now I knew. And it was even someone I'd liked, even if I'd barely known her. When I "friended" her on our college alumnae networking site a few years later, I thanked her for sending that in, and she talked about how she'd made the decision.

Fast forward more years. My best friend from high school and I had been to each other's weddings, we'd gotten together briefly when I was in CA recently for a work trip with Beloved Wife, we'd "friended" each other on Facebook. My high school best friend was Facebook friends with a couple of other girls from high school, but I wasn't interested: we weren't friends then, we're not friends now.

And then something made me search for one of the other upperclasswomen from our little group, and send her a friend request.

But when I realized she's Facebook friends with other women I went to high school with, I realized didn't want to post anything they could see that would identify me as a lesbian.

Ouch.

I was mulling on this in worship-sharing this weekend at FLGBTQC Mid-Winter. In a recent retreat at my Meeting here in Seattle, we had identified shame as a marker of not being centered in the Divine, of not being in right relation. In worship-sharing this weekend, I thought, I am out in almost every aspect of my life. Why would I be ashamed if women who knew me in high school know I'm a lesbian?

Well, because I was still stuck feeling like a terrified and ashamed fourteen-year-old who wasn't safe at school or at home.

What if I turned it around?

What if it was no longer, Oh, yeah, Stasa turned out to be a lesbian (*snicker*)?

What if no one remembered? What if nobody actually remembered the harassment, me nearly getting pulled out of school, my being afraid to be alone with my classmates; what if no one remembered they'd thought I might be a lesbian? After all, I'd had a boyfriend and been all but engaged when I graduated, and the best friend whom I was supposedly being a lesbian with is happily married to a man, so it's possible.

That possibility opened up some space inside my head. Opened up twenty-plus years' worth of space in my head.

What if the story now was:

My high school was a horribly homophobic place where I didn't feel safe. The bullying of my schoolmates, and the lack of protection from the faculty, made my life and my coming out that much harder, increased my risk of suicide, and increased the danger I faced in dating violence as a young adult.

What if I am no longer ashamed -- no longer afraid -- but am now, rightly so, angry?

What if I say to my former schoolmates, "I am a lesbian, there's no excuse for the homophobic bullying that happened to me in high school"?

Well, that's what I'm saying now: I am a lesbian, and there was no excuse for the homophobic bullying that I went through in high school.

This month's Friends Journal

There are two things I'd like to recommend from this month's Friends Journal:

One is the cover. The combination of the photo and the poetry by Christopher Fowler prompted me to stop, breathe, and smile in delight as soon as I opened my mailbox.

The second is Merry Stanford's article, "I Am Who I Am," which addresses all sorts of issues I think readers of this blog are interested in.

I am grateful to Merry for her courage and faithfulness, and for forwarding a dialog that we desperately need to continue in the Religious Society of Friends. Thank you.

Poetry for Brigid, III: "the workshop," Stasa Morgan-Appel

I wrote this in the fall of 2006 in worship as part of my preparation for the workshop I was teaching at FGC Gathering the following summer in River Falls. - sm

the worskhop
stasa morgan-appel, (c) 2006

teach it from your truth
from being centered as well as
grounded
teach your experience
don’t lean over so you’re over-
balanced, overweighted at top
sink into your belly
butt on the ground, face to the sun
what do you know?
teach what you know

teach silence and breathing and bubbles
brooms, noisemakers, song
welcome the air, fire, water, earth, and spirit

walk the circle

say “this space is mine
this space is different
this is not our everyday”
this is space we have cleared out
this is space we have set aside
this is space to consciously encounter the Divine
what happens here?

what do we find in the center
what gifts of the Spirit?

what magic do we create here
to take back out into the world?
what change?

how will i walk in the world with
the transformation and change
of this circle?
what is the magic i take back
with me?
how am i changed?

what happens when I come face-
to-face with the Divine…?


sing, dance, drum, make noise,
be energy
put it all to the transformation
from the experience of the Divine

see the Goddess in your face and
celebrate Her
feel and see the Goddess in your heart and
rejoice
be the Goddess in the world


come quiet again
sink back down to the ground
with your face to the sky
what happens when you encounter
the Divine?

joy… joy… joy…
breathe
breathe until you start to come
back to the ordinary

look around the circle
eat, drink, and be merry
feel your body
bless each other
thank the air, earth, water, fire, and spirit

take them with you
back into the world
with the magic of this space
be the Goddess in the world
be the magic in the world
blessed be

be what you know

Poetry for Brigid, IIa: "Wild Geese," (J8x32) 3C (4C set) RSCDS 24

Dance may be poetry in motion. This "Wild Geese" is a Scottish Country dance, a dance form I love and which I teach. - sm

The Wild Geese (J8x32) 3C (4C set) RSCDS 24

"The Wild Geese" is a 32-bar jig for three couples in a four-couple set, from the Royal Scottish Country Dance Society Book 24.

1- 8
1s+3s set advancing & balance in line, turn partners right hand, 1s cast to 3rd place while 3s lead up to 1st place
9-16
3s+1s set advancing & balance in line, turn partners right hand, 3s cast to 3rd place while 1s lead up to 1st place
17-24
1s lead down & back to 2nd place
25-32
2s+1s dance right and lefts

courtesy of minicrib

Poetry for Brigid, II: "Wild Geese," Mary Oliver

Wild Geese

Poetry for Brigid, I: "random interview," pat lowther

For why I have a connection with this poem, see my blog entry "what i want" from November of 2007. - sm

RANDOM INTERVIEW

Pat Lowther
From: Time Capsule, Polestar 1996, p. 242.

Invitation to The Fourth Annual Brigid in the Blogosphere Poetry Slam

Brigid is the triple Goddess of healing, smithcraft, and poetry. In her honor, many women over the last three years have blogged poetry in her honor. And this year is the fourth!

From Deborah Oak:

Feel free to copy the following to your blog and spread the word. Let poetry bless the blogosphere once again!

WHAT: A Bloggers (Silent) Poetry Reading

WHEN: Anytime February 2, 2009

WHERE: Your blog

WHY: To celebrate the Feast of Brigid, aka Groundhog Day

HOW: Select a poem you like - by a favorite poet or one of your own - to post February 2nd.

RSVP: If you plan to publish, feel free to leave a comment and link on this post. Last year when the call went out there was more poetry in cyberspace than I could keep track of. So, link to whoever you hear about this from and a mighty web of poetry will be spun.

Feel free to pass this invitation on to any and all bloggers.

Thank you, Reya, for beginning what is now an annual event.

New York Yearly Meeting's Minute on Torture

This is a powerful video. - sm

New York Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends' (Quakers) statement on torture, approved on July 25, 2008. In this statement, Quakers from New York and parts of New Jersey and Connecticut sign on to the National Religious Campaign Against Torture's (nrcat.org) "Statement of Conscience" and its "Declaration of Principles" seeking an end to torture.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMbeDd_W9AM

That was not a dream... it was an earthquake

(Everything's fine.)

I've now been through four earthquakes. Three of them, including the one I slept through, have been in the last year. (!)

I woke up just shy of 5:30 this morning, wondering why on earth one of the cats had chosen just that moment to do kitty yoga so vigorously that she was shaking the bed. She, however, was not on the bed. Her sister was, but she wasn't grooming. I thought, "Is this an earthquake...? It's going on too long to be a heavy truck going by... No, if it was an earthquake, the cats would be hiding under the bed..."

And I fell back to sleep. And dreamed about being in an earthquake.

Later, the alarm went off, the cats demanded breakfast, and I happened to turn on the news.

!

It was no dream! There was a mild earthquake. Details from the Associated Press, here; from the Seattle Times, here.

(The other earthquakes were on the East Coast, in 1986 (epicenter in Ohio); in Manchester, England, in February of 2008, which I slept through (epicenter in Lincolnshire); and Ann Arbor, MI, spring 08 (epicenter in Illinois).)

Lillian's obituary

Lillian's obit from the Daily News. - sm

Lillian Willoughby, Quaker activist, dies at 93

By JOHN F. MORRISON
Philadelphia Daily News

morrisj@phillynews.com 215-854-5573

LILLIAN WILLOUGHBY had a vision of a world at peace.

She and her husband, George, dedicated Quakers, chased this impossible dream all over the world, conducting nonviolent protests against war and preparations for war for nearly 70 years.

They even refused to pay federal taxes that they deemed were going to pay for war. As a result of these activities, they often ran afoul of law-enforcement and judicial officials who did not share their passion for peace.

Lillian Willoughby died Thursday just shy of her 94th birthday. She lived on the Old Pine Farm Land Trust in Deptford, Gloucester County, part of the New Jersey Green Acres program.

In 2004, she and other activists spent seven days in the federal detention center in Philadelphia for blocking the entrance to the Federal Building in a protest against the Iraq war. They chose jail over $250 fines.

In a statement read in court, she summed up her philosophy of peace and justice.

"I am approaching my 90th year," she said. "I had high hopes of leaving this earth confident that the people on it knew more about nonviolence and conflict resolution.

"Even after 9/11 we had a window of opportunity to do just that. By working with the United Nations and the World Court we could have helped build a stronger world community, a community of fairness and justice for all, where compassion, understanding, forgiveness, imagination, sharing and courage are valued and practiced."

In 2006, she and other older activists, including the poet Sonia Sanchez, then 72, were charged with defiant trespass for refusing to leave a Center City military recruiting station after trying to enlist to serve in Iraq. A judge dismissed the charges.

They called themselves the "Granny Peace Brigade."

In 2003, she and other demonstrators had their heads shaved outside the Liberty Bell in the name of peace. They intended to send the shorn hair to senators from Pennsylvania and New Jersey to express their opposition to the war.

From 1971 to 1987, Lillian and her husband ran a commune in West Philadelphia devoted to helping the community. The site included 20 houses that made up the Movement for a New Society.

The Willoughbys lived in a small third-floor apartment where they practiced living simply. When a Daily News reporter encountered them there in June 1980, they were baking their own bread. The group started the first Take Back the Night rally, an idea that became an annual anti-crime event.

Taking on the simple life was also a way to keep any income away from the federal government. Even so, the IRS confiscated their red Volkswagen for back taxes. During the auction at the IRS headquarters in Chester in 1970, the Willoughbys and supporters served lemonade in the hallway before submitting the winning bid of $900 to buy the car back.

Lillian was brought up on a farm in West Branch, Iowa. She attended a Quaker boarding school and later graduated from the University of Iowa. She became a dietician by trade and worked at hospitals and nursing homes.

She met her husband in Iowa. He was a conscientious objector during World War II and helped find homes for Japanese-Americans who had been put in camps at the outbreak of the war.

"She was loving, honest and forthright," said longtime friend and fellow Quaker Lynne Shivers. "She had a deep belief in the Quaker ideal of creating a nonviolent world. She reached out to people who were down, and cared about them."

She also is survived by three daughters, Sally, Anita and Sharon Willoughby; a son, Alan Willoughby, and three grandchildren.

Services: A Quaker memorial meeting will be held at a future date. *

Upcoming events

I've just posted a handful of new events to the bread and roses spiritual nurture web page. They're a mix of things I'm hosting and things I'm traveling to.

I think these might be of interest to different folks:

• In the Pacific Northwest, since the local events I'm hosting might be within traveling distance for you.

• In the Delaware Valley, since I'm going to be back in that area for two years at least, starting this August. Are there things that I do that you might be interested, either in attending, or in having me facilitate for your group?
  

• In other areas. Are you interested in having me travel to come work with your group or spiritual community?
  

I'm particularly excited about some new things.

This fall, I developed two new workshops/retreats: The Goddess Is Alive & Magic Is Afoot, which I'll be facilitating at Friends General Conference Gathering this summer; and Working with Dying and Death: a Day of Comfort and Healing, which is explicitly interfaith.

I'm also spending time today putting together a workshop proposal for Our Lady of the Earth and Sky's Community Festival at the end of February.

For the Upcoming Events page, please click here.
For the bread and roses spiritual nurture main page, please click here.

I hope that folks in the northern hemisphere are enjoying the return of the light. It's amazing to me the difference it makes for me already, since Winter Solstice.

"Ella's Song / We Who Believe in Freedom"

My friend Andy mentioned that Sweet Honey in the Rock should have been there today, singing this. This is so much in the spirit of the day, and it's stuck in my head:

We who believe in freedom cannot rest
We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes
Until the killing of Black men
Black mothers' sons
Is as important as the killing of White men
White mothers' sons...

Link to a video here.

Link to lyrics here.

"Lift Every Voice"

The full text of "Lift Every Voice and Sing," also known as the Black National Anthem, which many of us recognized during Rev. Joseph Lowery's Benediction during today's inauguration of President Barack Obama. For me, Lowery's benediction was one of the most moving parts of the inauguration. - sm

Lift every voice and sing
Til earth and heaven ring
Ring with the harmonies of liberty
Let our rejoicing rise
Tigh as the listening skies
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea

Sing a song
Full of the faith that the dark past has taught us
Sing a song
Full of the hope that the present has brought us
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun
Let us march on til victory is won

Stony the road we trod
Bitter the chast'ning rod
Felt in the days when hope unborn had died
Yet with a steady beat
Have not our weary feet
Come to the place for which our parents sighed?

We have come
Over a way that with tears has been watered
We have come
Treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered
Out from the gloomy past
Til now we stand at last
Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast

God of weary years
God of our silent tears
Thou who hast brought us thus far on the way
Thou who hast by thy might
Led us into the light
Keep us forever in the path, we pray

Lest our feet
Stray from the places, our God, where we met thee
Lest our hearts
Drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee
Shadowed beneath thy hand, may we forever stand
True to our God, true to our native land.

- James Weldon Johnson

"This Land Is Your Land"

I needed my hanky during this. And I'm so thrilled they sang the "less popular" verses that usually get left out. - sm

Pete Seeger and Bruce Springsteen - "This Land Is Your Land" - the Obama Inaugural Celebration Concert

Quakerism in the news

I was happy when I heard this last night on National Public Radio's All Things Considered. - sm

Oath of Office: To Swear Or To Affirm
All Things Considered, January 18, 2009 · The Presidential Oath of Office is laid out in the Constitution. But when Barack Obama takes it on Tuesday, he can choose not to swear. It's a choice all presidents have when being sworn in — a Quaker legacy.

Statement on the War in Gaza from CPT's Palestine Team

from Christian Peacemaker Teams. - sm

CPTnet
14 January 2009

GAZA: Statement on war in Gaza from CPT’s Palestine team

Christian Peacemaker Teams deplores the use of violence, stands with the oppressed, and supports all nonviolent efforts to build justice and peace. We believe God loves both Palestinians and Israelis and regards every person's death a tragedy. With this in mind

-We call on all armed groups to cease killing and traumatizing the children of God.

-We implore our governments to do more to end this massacre in Gaza, including demanding that Israel immediately remove its forces from Gaza and cease aerial bombardment.

-We ask our government representatives to insist that Israel conform to International law in its dealings with the Palestinians.

- We urge our governments and media outlets to press beyond surface explanations as to the cause of this recent conflict between Hamas and Israel and address the 'root' problems (i.e. the systemic oppression and domination of the Palestinian people).

2009 LGBTQ Womyn of Color Conference - Breathing Fire: Channeling the Power Within

I've only just heard about this. It sounds very exciting! If anyone is able to provide a website or such, or any other additional information, I would be grateful. - sm

Summer 2008, a collective of LGBTQ womyn of color decided to gather together to construct a conference, healing and social-justice oriented in its nature, to address many of the concerns affecting our community. That conversation exploded into the 2009 LGBTQ Womyn of Color Conference - Breathing Fire: Channeling the Power Within, which was created by a planning committee of over twenty (20) womyn and trans folks spanning the entire spectrum of people of color from Philadelphia to New Jersey to D.C.

This one-day conference will be held Saturday, April 4th, 2009 at the William Way Center - 1315 Spruce St. Philadelphia, PA 19107 - and will have workshops covering issues within our four themes: Relationships, Sexual Practices, Spirituality and Body/Health.

At your request, we can send our official request for collaboration letter. Outlined in the letter are the various kinds of support needed to ensure that the 2009 LGBTQ Womyn of Color Conference fulfills its potential, such as workshop facilitators, vendors and donors.

We are very excited about this opportunity to work closely with you and/or your organization in developing this conference. If you are interested in participating, please contact LGBTQ.Womyn@gmail.com. We thank you in advance for your time and consideration. We look forward to working with you and/or your organization in the near future.

Please forward this information to others who maybe interested in supporting this conference.

In solidarity,
The LGBTQ Womyn of Color Conference Planning Committee

A little unexpected wood stove geekdom

The apartment which Beloved Wife and I are renting in Seattle doesn't have a central heating system. It comes with electric oil-filled radiators and a woodstove, and our landlady pays utilities, including wood for the woodstove. (I think that bit is very smart on her part, because then she has some say in the management of the woodpile. We once lived in a house with two fireplaces, where the prior tenants hadn't taken very good care of the woodpile... and it was a damp, icky, disintegrating mess.)

I used the woodstove at Samhain for burning mementos to my ancestors and my dead, but wasn't sure we'd ever really use it for heat. I don't have any woodstove experience, in spite of the fact that my parents and my aunt and uncle heat with woodstoves. And although I know how to build campfires and fireplaces fires, I don't know much about building fires in stoves, and I can tell it's a very different sort of thing. (There's no grating; this stove is too tiny to put pieces crosswise... er?) I had this uneasy feeling, too -- while I liked the idea of not using fossil fuel or electricity, and not paying a big utility company to heat my house, I wasn't so sure about the environmental impact of burning wood. Plus, I have asthma -- do I want to heat my house this way?

Then the temps dropped to the 20s F, and there was just no way to get our apartment above 60F with the electric heaters. And there was the threat of electricity outages due to wind and ice. I didn't want to be learning how to use the stove when I couldn't see and it was 50F in our flat.

It was definitely time to fire up the woodstove.

And while I didn't find myself terribly proficient at managing it yet, I did find myself really appreciating, even enjoying, having a fire in the woodstove. There's a subjective difference between heat from a woodstove and heat from radiators, forced-air systems, and the like. I can't quite explain what it is, but it felt different, and I liked it.

I've also found myself appreciating the beauty of wood -- all the different shades of cedar, the sheen of maple -- in a way that's somewhat different from when woodworking or whittling. And I understand in a first-hand way now how Doug fir is fire-resistant, and how seasoned cedar kindling really is different from freshly-split cedar kindling from a seasoned log. There's something I really like about becoming familiar with, and appreciating, wood in this way. It feels akin to honoring the sacrifice of an animal I eat, the sacrifice of the Horned God, or to honoring the death of the plants I eat, the sacrifice of Lugh or the Grain God.

When the temperatures warmed back up, so that we could go back to keeping the house reasonably warm using the electric heaters alone... I felt a little lost without a fire to tend. One website I was reading recently summed it up nicely: heating with a wood-burning stove is a little like having a pet. Its presence is always there; it requires a certain amount of attention; it's warm; it can feel kind of affectionate.

I decided to do some research on how to build a good fire in a woodstove. My perfectionist self was feeling like there must be a better way to get a fire going than my so-so efforts thus far.

I discovered a handful of interesting things out there on the web; as with so much on the internet, some were useful, some less so.

There are a couple of methods to building a new fire in a woodstove that I'm going to try; there's a rather different way of starting new logs from existing coals that I'm also going to try. (Physics!) Crumpled newspaper, which is how I learned to do start fire growing up (gosh, doesn't that sound like I was a juvenile delinquent), does irritating things in a woodstove, and that's been driving me batty; so I'm learning to make "Nantucket Knots" (which somehow remind me of Brigid's Crosses). Physics again!

I'm enjoying the geekdom.

I also know a little about the guy our landlady buys our wood from. I feel good about how buying wood from him helps him support himself.

I like how, if you know where your wood comes from and you buy it locally, you can help support your local economy, can help support sustainable wood harvesting, can help conserve fossil fuel by not hauling your wood long distances. I like participating in the carbon cycle this way. I like getting a little off the grid. I like how a good woodlot is a renewable resource. I like how, if you use your woodstove well, you can produce less pollution than if you heat your home by most forms of commercial heating.

So I am a cautious convert to this wood-heat thing.

Which is not at all what I expected.

Holding the Willoughbys in the Light

from an email from George; if you'd like contact info, please let me know.

Lillian has been an amazing influence on me, as well as on Beloved Wife, and a loving presence in our lives.

- sm

January 5, 2009

Dear Life Center/MNS friends,
Dear F/friends of Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting,

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that Lillian had a stroke on December 23 when we were visiting with our daughter, Anita, and her family and the rest of our family in New York City. Lillian has since been paralyzed on her right side. After a few days, we brought her back to Deptford in an ambulance and we brought a hospital bed for her. She remains at home. Some years ago, she decided that if such an event took place, she would prefer not to be admitted to a hospital since she did not want to live as an invalid. She has chosen not to eat but let nature take its course. She takes sips of water from time to time. She is in no physical pain and can speak short phrases. Our children, Sally (who lives with us), Anita, Alan and Sharon are sharing in her care. Lillian is also visited daily by a hospice worker.

She would like to receive cards or e-mails from her distant friends. Address is [snip]. E-mail to George is [snip] and phone is [snip]. If you are close enough to visit, please phone ahead, since sometimes many visitors come at once. Please spread this news to others who care about Lillian. You can also contact Lynne S [snip] or Nichole H [snip] for more information.

We have heard from many friends, and not surprisingly, some from India! We are
grateful for your caring and support.

With appreciation,
George

A bit of a limb

I'm going to go out on a bit of a limb, and share with you more of what I've been up to since moving to Seattle. Which, come to think of it, is spending a lot of time out on a limb.

Starting this fall, I've been making ministry the focus of my life.

That's such a simple statement. But there are so many things it doesn't say -- about faith and faithfulness, anxiety and fear, joy and peace and simplicity, and more.

This leading has been building for a while, and came to something of a crescendo almost a year ago, when Beloved Wife and I were struggling to discern our next steps.

She was completing her PhD in math, and had started to hear back from post-doctoral jobs she'd applied for. We were trying to figure things out -- not only what to do next, but how on earth to decide. None of what looked best for her was compatible with what I'd thought I was led to do next. We twisted ourselves into some pretty interesting and awkward pretzels trying to make it all work. (The pretzel-twisting didn't work.)

A couple of things helped. One was deciding we trusted that this leading to be in a marriage with each other would not be mutually-exclusive with our other leadings. Three other things that helped were my being willing to listen deeply, even daringly, to myself; my asking for a clearness committee; and Beloved Wife's willingness to trust this before I had good words to explain it.

Beloved Wife was in England for the semester, writing her dissertation in reach of her advisor, who was there on a visiting professorship. I was in Ann Arbor, working, taking a class, and doing intensive physical therapy for an old injury.

I had a series of experiences where discernment came in bright, heart-pounding flashes. Exam questions in my music theory class ("Describe your ideal lifestyle"). An email exchange with a dear friend/former professor and mentor ("I know exactly what kind of 'shop' you should set up!"). A clearness committee meeting with me at Mid-Winter Gathering, with deep worship, deep love, laughter, and tears ("No, you can't hide").

So, I gradually came to understand that my next step was to answer a leading to make ministry the main focus of my life, of my time and energy.

That didn't mean I knew what it would look like.

And I still don't!

I know some of what it looks like, or at least what it's looked like this fall: taking some classes, hosting events for building spiritual community, being available for counseling and spiritual direction, submitting a workshop proposal for FGC Gathering, participating in the life of the Meeting I'm attending here in Seattle, getting to know the local Pagan community a little, making sure I take time for things like dance (my version of "going to the gym") and for teaching dance... But sometimes I think I'm still figuring it out every day.

That's okay with me, for the most part. I don't need to have it all figured out. I don't necessarily need to know where I'm going to end up, just where the next few steps are.

A lot of this last year has felt like this song-and-picture combination:

I feel like I'm crossing a stream in the woods: I can see the rock I'm stepping on, and I can see the next; I can tell there's a mossy bank on the far side, but I can't see all the stepping stones in between. (Or the places where my feet will get wet.) But the woods are green and beautiful; the birds are calling; the sun is shining down through the trees; the breeze is dancing; the brook is singing.

Imani, faith, can come like a spirit
Spirit come like walking on air
Take a step, and trust in the path, and
Mother Imani meet you there.

- from "Imani," by Rachael AK Hazen

"What's this empire coming to?": a politically-correct ancient Roman holiday

More stuff to make you think about perspective. This piece, from NPR, had me laughing out loud. Click here to listen.

What's this empire coming to?

Now they want us to stop greeting people with "Io Saturnalia!" "We have all these different cultures in Rome," they tell us. "We shouldn't offend anyone," they tell us, "We've got to be inclusive."

We've got the barbarians from the north with their tree decorations and their fire rituals. And the weirdos from Gaul, cutting mistletoe with a golden sickle. And the Mithraists, the Zoroastrians, the Isis cults, and, of course, those characters who hang out in the catacombs. "Hail, Winter!" we're supposed to say now.

I ask you, what next: we lose the feast? We stop the Solstice parties? No more honoring Ops, goddess of abundance?

I was buying some greenery down by the Forum the other day, and there's old Macrobius with some Visigoth chick, and she goes, "Gut Jule." And I go, "Hey! In this country, we say, Io, Saturnalia! Maybe you should go back to where you came from." Then Macrobius goes, "She can't, she's a slave."

Whatever.

At this time of year, the Visigoths sacrifice a pig and burn a special log that they dance around, instead of acting like normal people and going to the temple of Saturn.

I swear, I was at this party over at Septima Commodia's house the other day. She always has a Saturnalia party. Anyway, she decorated the place with prickly green leaves. "It's holly," she said, "The latest fashion from Brittania. They all do it in Londinium."

It gets worse.

She had this statue of some goddess from Ultima Thule or somewhere, name of Frigga, sitting right there on the dining room mensa. I mean, this is darned near blasphemous. I'd be scared about what the lares and penates would do if I put that thing in my house. But Septima Commodia just said, "Oh get over it! We're cosmopolitan here." Cosmopolitan. That's what they call it.

Well, by Jupiter, I live in Latium. I'm a Roman. And this empire was founded on the principle that the gods, our gods, must be honored at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. None of this foreign heretical nonsense or these strange customs from Germania or Hibernia or Palestine. I say, "Io, Saturnalia!" and if you don't like it, you can leave.

~ by Diane Roberts

"What If... Obama and McCain Switched Backgrounds?"

Okay, it's a little late... but perhaps now that all the sound and buzz have died down, folks might be willing to look at some of these issues more critically. My thanks to Samuel Lippke for this. - sm

What if?
Obama / Biden vs McCain/ Palin , what if things were switched around? . . . . . think about it.
Would the country's collective point of view be different if McCain & Obama had each other's history and qualifications?
Could racism be the culprit? Ponder the following:

More posts-that-point-to-other-authors

Okay, I know I promised some actual writing from myself... These, though, caught my eye, and I wanted to share them. And I think you get a sense of people by what they find interesting, whether they agree with them or not. :)

More snow...

The National Weather Service is predicting 1-3 more inches of snow... can you believe it?

Photos of Seattle snow

(Note: if you click on the slideshow, it will take you to a larger version.)

Three snowstorms in eight days. Whee!

Fall in Seattle

On Election Day, I went for a long walk and took pictures of some of our gorgeous leaves here in the Montlake neighborhood, and up near the UW Medical Center. Enjoy!

(If you click on the slideshow, it will take you to a larger version.)

Snow... snow... and more snow... in Seattle!

So, here we are in Seattle for the year... where I nearly didn't bring my winter coat with me, thinking to make do with layers of fleece, wool, and Gore-Tex. After all, the average low here in December, the coldest month, is 36 F.

I'm glad I brought my heavy coat. First, we had a week where temps didn't get above freezing, with record cold -- mostly in the 20s F, but then we dipped down into the teens. Then, in the last week and a half, we've had three -- count them, three -- snowstorms which have stopped the city in its tracks. As soon as things get moving again, we get more snow. With ice underneath.

It's rather astonishing.

But, this did make for a beautiful Winter Solstice.

Amazingly, some hardy souls did make it to our house to celebrate with us on Saturday night. Getting home was a bit of a challenge for them, but everyone seems to have made it back safely.

Beloved Wife and I live two blocks from the Arboretum, and less than a mile from the Lake Washington Ship Canal. We've had two beautiful walks -- one Saturday night through the Arb (where, at 1:00 am, people were still out sledding!), and one Sunday afternoon through the marsh boardwalk. I will post pictures. :)

We've had several more inches of snowfall since then.

We are well and truly snowed in at the moment. Wow!

Quick note

I haven't written a thoughtful entry of my own for a while, and I miss it. Things should calm down soon, and I'm hoping to have some time to write -- either next week, or just after Solstice -- which will be nice. There have been a couple of things floating around, waiting for me to write about them.

Winter weather!

We have our first winter storm watch.

Now, I am a total weather geek, and I also love winter weather; so I'm excited at the prospect of actual snow on the ground in Seattle. (Whether or not that actually will happen with this storm remains to be seen, but there does seem to be a real chance of some lowland snow.)

Now I'm glad I brought my winter coat with me, since I'll be taking the bus to Bellevue for a Scottish dance teachers' meeting on Saturday morning. :)

Odetta has died

Odetta died Tuesday. I will miss her presence in this world in much the same way I miss that of Audre Lord.

Miriam Makeba also died this fall.

I am thankful all three of them left the work of their voices.

How green building techniques can help save a home during a wildfire

Beloved Wife and I happened to be on a work trip for her to Santa Barbara, CA when the Tea Fire erupted.

Consequently, much of our visit wasn't at all what we expected. But we were safe and mostly well, and Santa Barbara County fared much better than it might have in the face of such a fast-moving and devastating fire. We were definitely impressed by local emergency response.

Having been there during such an intense time, I've been following some of the local news coverage of the fire since returning to Seattle. Today, I came across an interesting article on how one couple's green building choices helped save their home.

Green Building Techniques Save Home on Mountain Drive
One Tea Fire Homeowner's Experience Is a Lesson for Us All

In the midst of the devastation created by the Tea Fire, there are a few stories of families whose homes escaped the fire unscathed. While some of these stories seem like simple twists of fate or, in some cases, miracles, other stories tell of people who strategically designed their homes to survive a fire. Marlene and David Berry's is one of these stories.

Remember: Faith communities can save transgender lives

from Chris Paige of Transfaith On-line. - sm

Remember: Faith communities can save transgender lives

The Transgender Day of Remembrance (November 20, 2008) is set aside to remember those lost to anti-transgender violence in the last year. Much of this violence is fueled by a sentiment that it is tacitly and explicitly reinforced by narrow understandings of gender, as well as outright transphobia and homophobia expressed in the name of a Christian God. Too many of us have not only heard "God condemns you" -- but also "It would be better if you were dead."

It is a profound and important step for every faith community to join in a resounding chorus that condemns all forms of violence against people who are differently gendered.

• By vocally condemning anti-trans bullying, harassment, and hate crimes, we begin to chip away at the self-righteous fuel that feeds those who believe they are doing God's will by punishing the differently gendered.

• By loudly proclaiming that people of all genders are beloved, we begin to address the rampant rate of depression and suicide among transgender youth and adults that so to often encouraged by religious judgment.

• By reaching out in love to the transgender community, we begin to undermine the isolation and low self-esteem that can undergird substance abuse and high-risk behaviors (which inform high rates of HIV and AIDS).

Beyond the hate and judgment, trans people's lives are at risk because we so often struggle to meet our most fundamental needs such as safe employment and basic health care. Faith communities need to be out in front of such justice issues as well.

So, this year, let us (re)commit ourselves to the work of speaking up and speaking out, to the work of educating ourselves and educating others, to the work of reaching out in love.

Chris Paige
Publisher, TransFaith Online

Followup reading:

• NCTE Health Priorities: http://www.nctequality.org/HealthPriorities.pdf

• TransFaith InterSections: www.transfaithonline.org/intersections/

• TransFaith - Where do we begin? www.transfaithonline.org/the_basics/where_do_i_begin/

************************
TRANSFAITH ON-LINE (http://www.transfaithonline.org/) is dedicated to supporting transgender folks in our faith journeys, while providing useful resources to help people of faith become better educated trans-allies.

Political and religious humor

I've seen this several times now, and it never fails to make me smile:

Barack atah Illinois
Eloheinu melech ha'olam
Hoo-ray p'ri ha-electoral landslide.
Amen.

-----------------

Traditional Hebrew blessing:
Baruch atah Adonai
Eloheinu melech ha'olam
Borayt p'ri hagafen.

Blessed are You, Lord our G-d,
King of the Universe,
Creator of the fruit of the vine.

Feminized Hebrew blessing:

Brucha at elilah,
elohaynu malkat ha’olam,
borayt p’ree hagafen.

Blessed are You, Goddess our Goddess,
Queen of the Universe,
Creator of the fruit of the vine.

"You Can Vote However You Like"

Too cool!

And in the interview, these kids are more articulate than a lot of adults I've heard...

Links:
video
interview

Whatever Kindles

I received this today from CPT's news service. On this Samhain, I honor the memory of Tom Fox, of those of all nationalities who have died in the "War on Terror," and of those who have died in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Bluffton University is in northwest Ohio, an hour south of Toledo and ninety minutes north of Dayton.

- sm

CPTnet
31 October 2008
CHICAGO/TORONTO: Second production of CPT docudrama, Whatever Kindles, to be mounted


November 12-15, 2008 Bluffton University’s theatre department will perform Whatever Kindles, a fictional docudrama exploring the everyday experiences and struggles of members of Christian Peacemaker Teams (CPT). Written by playwright and CPT reservist Tricia Gates Brown, the docudrama takes its title from the words of St. Theresa of Avila, “Do whatever most kindles love in you. It features seven fictional CPT workers and an ensemble of supporting characters that share their experiences in Canada, Columbia, Iraq and Israel/Palestine through direct address to the audience and short vignettes. The play premiered at George Fox University in Oregon during the fall of 2007. A free script is available at http://www.cpt.org/resources/books#7.

“ This production reveals to us the uncertainties CPT workers face,” said Dr. Melissa Friesen, play director and Mary Nord Ignat and Joseph Ignat Chair in Theatre. “The script recognizes the complexity within human responses to violence and oppression as we struggle to follow Jesus faithfully.”

Friesen chose the play because of its connection with Bluffton’s mission of service and peacemaking, and its parallel with the institution’s 2008-09 civic engagement theme: “Living in Uncertainty in a Complex World.”

Each evening production will include “talk-back” sessions with the audience. Friesen, CPT members, student performers and alumni, will engage the audience in dialogue about CPT and CPT members’ experiences. “Our hope is to create a space for thinking about critical issues of faith and our engagement with the world,” said Friesen. Sunday’s matinee performance will not include a talk-back session.

Several CPT reservists are lending their red caps—the signature uniform of CPT workers—to the cast as costume pieces for the production. Friesen hopes to establish a connection between CPT workers and members of the Bluffton production. “This is a unique opportunity,” she said. “The hats provide a symbol of the connection Bluffton is trying to establish between theatre and the wider community. By loaning the hats, CPT is supporting the production in a very tangible way, creating a joint effort to provide the audience an opportunity to see the fulfillment resulting from putting faith and nonviolent commitments into action in risky ways.”

Additionally, George Fox University is allowing Bluffton to use scenic projections designed for the premiere.

Whatever Kindles will be performed at 7:30 p.m. Nov.12-15, and at 2:30 p.m. Nov. 16, in Ramseyer Auditorium. Tickets are $7 for adults and $5 for senior citizens and students. Tickets may be reserved through the university box office by calling 419-358-3239 or e-mailing boxoffice@bluffton.edu.


In conjunction with the production of Whatever Kindles, 1984 Bluffton graduate Kathleen Kern, a member of CPT since 1993, will make a public presentation on November 14 about the work of Christian Peacemaker Teams as part of launching the newly published CPT History, In Harm’s Way: A History of Christian Peacemaker Teams (Cascade 2008).

The Rightous Mothers: "Old Fat Naked Women for Peace"

My friend Julie Middleton sent this to me. For more information about this video and The Righteous Mothers, click here.

Meeting for Remembering

Discovered in University Friends Meeting's monthly newsletter, from South Seattle Preparative Meeting. This looks interesting; I'd like to go. - sm

MEETING FOR REMEMBERING, NOV 1

Meeting for Remembering will begin at 4:00pm on Nov. 1 in the dining room of the Senior Center (Central Area Senior Center, 500 30th Ave. S., Seattle 98144), and will be followed by a potluck dinner.

The building opens at 3:30pm, and we invite people to come after 3:45 to set up any pictures &
mementos of people they are remembering as well as quotes and short writings (tables available).

There will be a table in the middle of the room with candles. Similar to last year, the Meeting
will begin with naming a person to be remembered; and going to the table to light a candle in that person's memory. After the naming, the group repeats the name followed by silence before the next person is named and the next candle is lit. Then, we will settle into worship remembering those who are no longer among the living. At the rise of Meeting, we will share our potluck meal with fellowship, and view/share the pictures and mementos displayed.

Childcare will be available (please RSVP with the number of children attending to xxxxx@xxxx.xxx). We invite children who would like to participate to join the group -- particularly for the naming and candle-lighting portion, but also for the rest of the meeting if they and their family so choose. Thank you.

-- SSPM Community & Spiritual Life Committee

Fall back: returning to standard time

Next weekend in the US, we will "fall back" -- set our clocks back an hour, returning to standard time from daylight saving time.

For more information, click here.

Why do I care about this? For one, the time the sun rises, the time it sets, and how much daylight there is in between, are part of how I measure the seasons and the time of year. Daylight saving time, I admit, messes with this sense for me; whenever we transition between standard time and daylight saving time, it takes me a while to re-adjust. "Springing forward" is harder for me -- an hour less of sleep, when I'm not much of a morning person to begin with, although I do appreciate the extra hour of light in the evening, when I can truly appreciate it. "Falling back," of course, is easier for me -- an hour of sleep gained back from earlier in the year; an hour of light gained in the morning. On the other hand, no longer having that hour of light in the evening tells me even more emphatically that winter is on Her way, and that Winter Solstice is around the corner.

We're living further north this year than I've ever lived, and we'll have the least amount of light -- the fewest hours of daylight -- on Winter Solstice than anyplace I've lived. But then, on Summer Solstice, we'll have the most...

A good fall to you, and blessed be!

Music meditation

When I was a teenager, my bedroom was on the third floor of my family's fixer-upper house. I didn't care that it was the coldest (and hottest) bedroom in the house, and had the worst-peeling of the wallpaper and paint: mine was the only bedroom up there, and I had the roof.

The third floor was smaller than the second floor, which meant there was a gently-sloped expanse of roof outside my bedroom window. Many nights, before going to bed, I would climb out my window to sit out on the roof and commune with the trees and the stars (and try to ignore the streetlights from the apartment house parking lot next door).

One year, for birthday or holiday, I don't remember which, an aunt gave me a walkman tape player. I had a friend with a good stereo who would make me mix tapes (and sometimes let me make them myself). So then I could climb out on the roof, commune with nature, and listen to music. Which I did, sometimes for hours on end.

Meditating out on the roof would, as Madeleine L'Engle's character Vicky Austin would say, bring me back into perspective, back into myself, and at the same time, beyond and outside of myself. My word for it was be-ing. I didn't have to think, I didn't have to be smart (I was the smart kid), I didn't have to do anything right, I didn't have to figure things out, I didn't have to know what to say to my family or teachers or school-mates. I could simply be, me and the trees and the stars, and whoever or whatever the Divine might be.

The woods, the moon, the stars, the seasons -- they have always been how I have most keenly felt the Divine. But in high school, I discovered music.

I realized recently that meditating to music is a spiritual practice that hasn't changed much for me in the last twenty-four years. (Although the technology has.)

Last winter into spring was a lonely and challenging time for me, but it was filled with much spiritual growth, discernment, and music. And one of the things that I found myself doing a lot was listening to music on the headset in the velvet darkness. Inside, this time: it was a snowy Michigan winter this year.

Beloved Wife was away, doing research in England for the semester. I was working and taking classes (trying to decide which to keep and which to drop: I kept music theory, and decided four years was too long after taking orgo I to be taking orgo II); trying to make decisions with Beloved Wife about our next move, her next job, and grad school for me; asking myself many hard questions about who I am and what I am led to do; learning a lot about music; discovering community I hadn't realized I'd had; and learning how to dance again, with deep gratitude to my physical therapy team.

Meditating to music helped ground me and center me, helped me worship, helped me re-connect with who I am and what's important to me, reminded me both of the things that have been constant and of the things I've been learning. The two have been very intertwined this year.

I asked a clearness committee to meet with me at Mid-Winter Gathering. It really helped, but it was also pretty scary: when Friends help you see what you're really being asked to do, it's a lot harder to hide from it. :)

It's fall now, and here we are in Seattle for the year.

During a break yesterday afternoon, I decided to download two songs I've had stuck in my head for the last few weeks, but didn't own copies of (except I have a copy of one of them on tape, in storage for the year). Did I mention the technology has changed?

We don't have a stereo with us, and the external computer speakers are good, but they're small; and this one song has rich vocal harmonies. So I plugged in the headphones so I could better listen to it.

I found myself drawn to just sitting on the sofa and listening to the entire mix I'd added the two new songs to. It was daytime, so it was light out, and I was sitting on the sofa, looking out at the greenery in front of our house and at the hummingbird that comes to our feeder. I was listening to a mix that's been growing since January, one I listened to a lot last winter, with some new additions.

And it turned out, this was exactly what I needed. During that time, I got re-grounded in me. I didn't have to be smart or wise, I didn't have to be a seasoned Friend or experienced thealogian, I didn't even have to ask how I'm led; all I had to do was be me, as the Goddess made/grew me. Carving out that time and space, and the change of perspective and consciousness that came with it, was a huge relief.

And isn't that what magic is?

Google, Halloween, and energy-saving tips

So, as a Friend who experiences the Divine through the Earth, I have a concern for ecology.

Right now, I'm entertained -- and pleased -- by Google's energy-saving tips campaign:

"Haunted by high energy costs? Here are some easy ways to save."

Their "Haunted House" takes you through what to do if you are "haunted" by different things ("Ghosts: Hear that eerie moan? That's the sound of warm air escaping up your chimney. Close the flue damper when the fireplace isn't in use"). It's both cute and practical. And their calculator will help you determine both how much money and how much energy you save by the actions you're already taking. Plus, they have an advanced tips section.

Enjoy!

I love it!

Quaker boundaries and spiritual disciplines/practices, part I

After a recent conversation with an elder in my home Meeting, I've been thinking about which of any number of spiritual practices might be considered compatible with Quakerism -- or not. Specifically, I'm thinking of disciplines/practices which are practiced by Friends, but did not originate within Quakerism.

I know there are others, but here's a list of examples that I've come up with:

~ Centering prayer
~ Circle dance
~ Dances of Universal Peace
~ Sacred dance
~ Contra dance
~ Mindfulness meditation
~ Sitting meditation
~ Walking meditation
~ Intercessory prayer
~ Celebrations of specific holidays
~ Transformative Narrative Portrait
~ Singing
~ Yoga
~ Qi Gong
~ Chant
~ Photography
~ Poetry
~ Magic
~ Spiritual direction
~ Energy healing
~ Storytelling
~ Quilting
~ Ritual
~ Ignatian Retreat
~ Writers circles
~ Bible study
~ Buddhist meditation
~ Labyrinth walking
~ Spiritual formation
~ Journaling
~ Couple Enrichment
~ Ceremony
~ Continuum movement
~ Spherical Dynamics

Which, if any, of these practices/disciplines are Quaker? are compatible with Quakerism?

Why?

Does it make a difference if such a practice is:

~ an individual Friend's spiritual practice?
~ something offered by or taught by a Meeting or Quaker retreat center?
~ something taught by a Friend professionally?
~ something taught by a Friend as part of a ministry?

What do you think? Why?

Interesting (re)reading

I found myself re-reading today both a post I wrote and the comment dialogue on it. The post was about belonging and conflict among Friends. It was useful and grounding for me to re-read it.

On the curb? In the backyard?

Hither, thither, and yon

...and here, there, and everywhere. Emotionally, anyway.

I've had cause more than once in my ministry recently to remind myself that it's not my job to be "successful" as the world would consider it; but rather, that it's my job to be faithful.

This actually brings me a lot of comfort, and takes a big weight off. It's not up to me to "make sure" it all works out in a particular way -- it's up to me to make sure I'm open to the movement of the Spirit, that I discern and respond to what the Goddess asks of me, that I am a faithful Friend. It's not my job to make sure I sell a lot of books at a particular event so I don't take a financial loss, for example; it's my job to make sure I that I have books and outreach materials available, that I show up, that my heart is open, that I engage with people who come to my booth. It's not my job to make sure a lot of people show up an event I host or workshop I teach; it's my job to make sure the event happens, to show up with an open heart and mind, prepared as best I can be, and let Nature take Her course.

This is so different from what I grew up with that it's often all too easy to slip out of this perspective. Particularly when I am afraid for some reason: Will I have messed up my family's ability to pay bills this month if I don't sell enough books to cover what I paid for them? What if no one comes to my booth?

Lately, that fear has been making itself known in a fear of others' judgement: What if the Pagans who come to my booth decide I'm a Quaker proselytizer and blow me off, and nobody talks to me all day? What if Friends decide I'm too big for my britches because I'm putting event listings in the weekly announcements once or twice a month? What if a Friend comes to my blog or my website and decides I'm not a "real" Friend? Is it misleading that I wear a pentacle with a triple Goddess, when I'm not a Wiccan? I find that reminder about faithfulness rather than outward success -- in this case, approval or approbation -- helpful again.

And yet, this perspective of faithfulness rather than success -- of faith, rather than fear -- is so inherent in the Quaker foundation of what I do, that I can't possibly be successful at what I do without letting go of that notion of success.

Interesting.

Ministry is also, honestly, a lot more fun when all I'm worried about is being faithful. Really, all I have to do is show up and be present. I don't have to worry.

I've been reflecting in bits and pieces over the last few months on why I started this blog.

As a way to "show up and be present"? To myself and the Goddess, at least?

Judgement was part of it: what little there was about me on the web was weighted, in the ways that the calculus of searches are, by the book I co-wrote. If you wanted to know anything else about me, you had to wade through that, or subtract "solstice" from your search. And yet people were making judgements about me -- including my personal theology -- based not remotely on anything I'd actually said, but on what they found on the internet; and those judgements were having hard impacts on my real life: whether I could rent a hall for an event; how people treated me in person.

Several years ago, a well-known Friend and noted Bible scholar in a particular Meeting was called on as an expert about "people like me" (Pagan Friends). She had never met me, never spoken to me, never read anything I'd written, and never corresponded with me. She told the clerk of Ministry and Counsel of her Meeting that Pagan Quakers are not legitimate Quakers. (Since the only membership in the Religious Society of Friends is through membership in a Monthly Meeting, and several members of her Meeting are Pagan, I guess they're not legitimate Quakers. Or something...)

When we were eventually introduced, she said to me: "Oh, yes, I know all about you."

I hardly knew how to respond. I tried to find out what she meant.

"Oh, yes," she said, "my friend Mr. Google told me all about you. You wrote that book."

All about me?, I thought. But Mr. Google doesn't know everything about me.

And really, the book was all she knew about me. She hadn't even gone beyond the first page of her Google search -- didn't know about any of the peace and justice work I'd done, didn't know I'd gone to a war zone from my Quaker beliefs, didn't know I teach Scottish Country Dance, didn't know I appeared in a friend's wedding picture on the class of 1993's wedding pictures page, didn't know I'd helped edit a paper on the Philadelphia Housing Trust Fund... So she didn't even know everything Mr. Google knew.

[Note: I have since come to prefer, by far, Friend Peterson Toscano's term: "Google Superpowers." Thank you, Peterson.]

Much later, I found myself wondering: What would I actually say, in my own voice, where other people could read it?

Out of that wondering was born this blog. Out of an attempt at integrity -- what do I say when I stand up tall?

When I am afraid of others' judgement, it can definitely impede my faithfulness. I am reminded of something my F/friend Merry wrote recently: "I yearned so strongly to belong that I strove to be a 'good' Quaker, rather than an authentic one." I have found myself falling into that trap on more than one occasion.

Last night, I hosted Meeting for Worship for the Full Moon at my house. I didn't know who might actually show up -- I've been warned about this Seattle "thing" where people say they will come to things, then don't -- but it looked like there'd be at least two people besides me. (But, I reminded myself, it doesn't matter how many people show up; what matters is the quality of our worship. It's not my job to be successful; it's my job to be faithful.) Six of us met in worship in my living room last night, and our worship was deep and rich.

I realized in worship, when I was not physically relaxed -- I would let my shoulders go as I breathed, but clench my hands; I'd unclench my hands, but tighten my legs, or my shoulders again -- just how scary living my life in ministry is. There's a line from a Peter Gabriel song that repeated itself over and over in my head:

To keep in silence, I resigned; my friends would think I was a nut.

And, well, yeah. You can only steel yourself so much against others' judgement.

I am also reminded of a song by Pat Humphries and Sandy Opatow of emma's revolution, which they wrote for my F/friend Rebecca's graduating class from the Woolman Semester:

I will stand in myself when I'm not feeling strong
I will stand, I will stand...
I will stand in the circle with the circle in me
I will stand, I will stand...

I found myself fearing judgement last night, particularly from the two people I barely knew -- even more so since one's a weighty local Friend. But you know, that's not remotely where Friends were. They weren't here to check my credentials, or to judge me; they were here to worship.

And it became clear, again, that this opportunity answered a need: that Friends' worship with a focus on what's traditionally considered Pagan -- Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit, nature, the Moon's cycle, the Sun's cycle, the Goddess -- is a need among Friends.

Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business

I was filling out an on-line profile about a year ago for a religious information clearing-house whose resources I often use. Two of the required fields were, "Likes" and "Dislikes." How irritating, I thought, but filled them out.

One of the items I put under "Likes" is Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business. I was aware it sounded terribly geeky, but it is true, and it seemed relevant.

Today was my first Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business at the Meeting we're now attending.

And it was lovely.

Worship was wonderfully centered; there were some deep issues, but no drama; and it was just good.

I am grateful.

I really do love our business and decision-making process.

CPT Hebron project to close after thirteen years

As some of my readers know -- and many don't -- in 2002, I went to Israel-Palestine on two different peace witness delegations. One of them was with Christian Peacemaker Teams, with whom I spent time and worked in Hebron and Beit Umar. Their work was deeply centered, and definitely practical.

I read this with great sadness. CPT has done such good work in Hebron. Not only will their presence be missed, their absence will be felt in many concrete ways.

- sm

To view the on-line version click here: http://www.cpt.org/node/7325.

CPTnet
10 October 2008
HEBRON: CPT Hebron project to close after thirteen years.

by Tarek Abuata, Palestine Support Coordinator

I would like to thank our supporters, our team members, and our partners for their love, prayers, and generous financial support over the past thirteen years. During these years, many have given much of their lives and poured plenty of their love into the continuing work of God.

I would especially like to express my gratitude for the loving spirit of our partners in Palestine/Israel with which they've always welcomed us. Since 1995, we've shed many tears of sadness and joy with them, and we've dipped our fingers into many maqloobeh platters together. Palestinians say "whoever lives forty days with a community becomes one of them." We've spent more than 4000 days in Hebron, and we've always felt the incredible love and hospitality of the Palestinian community. We are truly a family, because we've always helped each other as sisters and brothers.

CPT regretfully had to make the hard decision to close the Hebron team site. We have been suffering with an inadequate number of full-time CPTers on this team for months. Stretched thin, we covered the work of the Hebron team site with reservists until August, knowing that this option was not sustainable.

We continue to be committed to Palestine. A strong CPT project in At-Tuwani continues to partner with the Palestinian communities of the Southern Hebron Hills in their nonviolence efforts. We also have a committee exploring possibilities for collaborating with other significant Palestinian nonviolent efforts. It is our hope that these efforts lay the groundwork for a healthy rebirthing of additional CPT work either in Hebron or elsewhere in Palestine when and if long term full-time staffing permits.

As an organization, we have expanded outreach efforts and ask that you join us in calling new people into this work. We are working hard to undo oppressions within CPT, such as racism and sexism, and to nurture the conditions for healthy team life.

I would like for all of us to remember that we are Easter people and we open our vision to look outward toward new openings rather than narrowing our vision to see only closings, for the continuing work of God doesn't stop with a closure; it has no closure. Only our human work comes to a close.

As a Palestine Project, we will keep folks updated on our progress with the refocusing committee work. Many blessings and love to you, and many thanks once again for your continuing generous support.

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CPT's MISSION: "Getting in the Way." What would happen if Christians devoted the same discipline and sacrifice to nonviolent peacemaking that armies devote to war? Christian Peacemaker Teams (CPT) seeks to enlist the whole church in organized, nonviolent alternatives to war and places teams of trained peacemakers in regions of lethal conflict.

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Fall Equinox/Mabon

I hosted a small potluck for Fall Equinox Thanksgiving, for which I'd sent out the following invitation:

At Fall Equinox, day and night are equal in length; going forward, the nights will start to become longer than the days, until we reach the Longest Night at Winter Solstice. Harvest is a time of preparing for the coming winter and dark time of the year.

What foods are crossing our tables this time of year for which we find ourselves especially thankful? What foods do we eat and find ourselves thinking, "Wow, I'm glad to be alive in a world that has [this food]"? What foods will go forward with us into the winter, and which will not?

Whether it's home-grown tomatoes after a cool and slow summer, really good chocolate, or something completely different -- bring something to share which you're thankful exists so that you can eat it!

There was pasta with local veggies -- tomatoes, red bell peppers, garlic -- and fresh mozzarella. Home-made beet and vegetable soup-stew, again with lots of local ingredients. Home-made bread -- sourdough with rosemary from the garden. (Rosemary and lavender both grow nearly wild here.)

We hung out and talked far past when the potluck was supposed to have ended: friendship, community, good company are things for which I'm grateful, and in which I find joy.