Adult Religious Education presentation on "Four Doors to Meeting for Worship"

[There is now a printable version of this post available; click here.]

Or, "'Four Doors to Meeting for Worship' from a Quaker Witch's Perspective." At University Friends Meeting here in Seattle, our March Adult Religious Education Program (ARE) was focused on William Taber's Pendle Hill pamphlet "Four Doors to Meeting for Worship." The first two Sundays were devoted to the pamphlet itself; the next three, to presentations by folks in our Meeting community sharing from their experiences and perspectives -- "an actual Bible-carrying Christian," someone who'd "found meaning in an Earth-based spirituality," and a former Catholic. The committee asked me, specifically, to speak on the First Day closest to Spring Equinox. I've taken my notes for my talk and tried to convert them into a blog post. A note: during my talk, the weather alternated between sun and light rain. - sm

The ARE committee asked me specifically to speak on the First Day closest to Spring Equinox. This is a treat for two reasons. One, they knew when Spring Equinox is, and they knew that it would be important to me. Two, Spring Equinox is when I first started attending Meeting for Worship regularly, twelve years ago in Philadelphia. So this is a double treat.

I first read Bill Taber's "Four Doors to Meeting for Worship" back in about 2002, when the Meeting I was part of was taking a Sabbath year. I re-read it twice last week, and I found myself getting really grumpy. What Taber is talking about is basic ritual structure (and I'll go more into that in a minute). And we like to pretend we don't have ritual.

As unprogrammed Friends, we say we don't have ritual. Sometimes, we're pretty self-righteous about it (I know I have been). But that's not true. It may be less structured than in other traditions, but it's there. When we deny that we have ritual, we are not being completely honest, and that's not in keeping with the testimony of integrity. When we're self-righteous about it, it makes it harder for us to build bridges between different religious groups, including within Quakerism itself. So my challenge to us as Friends is to speak more honestly about this.

Before I go on, let me define "magic." I'm going to borrow from Dion Fortune and from Starhawk, and use the common definitions of magic as a change in consciousness, a change in consciousness in accordance with will, or creating change in accordance with will. Bill Taber talks quite a bit about changing consciousness.

I also wanted to touch on something else. Last week's speaker talked about this, and many Christian traditions talk about this also: the notion that Jesus, as human, makes God, the whole of which humans cannot comprehend, accessible. One of the ways in which I as a Witch have direct access to the Goddess, direct, tangible, experience of the Goddess, is through the Earth, Air, Fire, Water, and Spirit. Through my breath, through the Sun (really, it's there), through the water I drink and the water all around us here in the Puget Sound area, through my food and the earth that grows my food, through the mountains all around us here, through the people around me, through animals and trees. Asking me if I "believe in" the Goddess is like asking me, "Do you believe in rain?" (Especially in Puget Sound in the winter...)

Many Christians talk about nature and the Earth being sacred as creations of God, but don't treat it as an embodiment of the Divine. My challenge to us is to treat nature as Divine in and of itself, and see how that changes our actions.

So what do I mean by "basic ritual structure"?

Taber's "Door Before" is preparation; the "Door Inward" is transition; the "Door Within" is a change of consciousness, or magic; the "Door Beyond" is a transition back to ordinary time and consciousness, and a taking forward of the magic, of the transformation and change, that has occurred during Meeting for Worship, to our daily lives.

So, let me walk through those four doors and talk about them from my perspective.

The Door Before

What helps me feel my connection to the Divine in my everyday life?

• Worship before meals, alone or with someone. This is a common practice in our family, having a moment of silent worship before we eat, and it's something I find I carry over to when I eat alone, as well.

• Community - when I connect deeply with someone.

• Walks in the Arb and on Marsh Island. We live two blocks from the Arboretum, and just south of the Montlake Cut and Marsh Island. Those are wonderful places to go for walks. Trees, water, birds...

• Dancing. There are several forms of dance I'm involved in, and they're very important to me, as is the music in those dance forms.

• Music - deliberately listening to specific pieces of music, specific songs, specific mixes (we call them playlists now on iTunes).
  

• Crocheting - I have a very active crochet ministry, and most of you have seen me crocheting away during Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business. Particularly when I'm making something for someone in need -- a new baby, a friend in the hospital -- crocheting is a good reminder of my connection with the Divine.

• Snuggling the cats.

• Snuggling my beloved.

• Chopping wood.

• Worship - moments of worship during the week.

• Lighting a candle; keeping it lit around the house.

• Listening to the birds outside my window early in the morning; watching them come to the feeder throughout the day.

• Taking a moment to close my eyes, breathe, and feel my connection to the Earth and to the elements necessary for sustaining life - the Air, the Fire, the Water, the Earth, the Spirit that is all of them.

Bill Taber talks quite a bit about moments during travel or commuting, and something that occurs to me now is something that happens on the bus. The buses I take the most often cross the Montlake Bridge, and you can see both the Cascade Mountains and the Olympic Mountains on either side of the Bridge when it's clear enough. I often find myself taking a moment to look for them whenever a bus I'm on crosses that Bridge. In fact, there seems to be something of a secret society of people who do this; recently, another person and I caught each other's eyes and shared a smile as we both turned to look at the mountains on both sides of the bus. I've since kept an eye out for other people who do this.

The Door Inward

Taber calls this "entering and centering" into the Meeting for Worship, and he details what he calls "rituals" (in quotes) that individual Friends might use.

What helps me "enter and center" into Meeting for Worship?

• Closing my eyes and paying attention to my breathing and to how my body feels. Am I breathing comfortably? Is my breath short, constrained? What parts of my body are tense? Am I sitting in a position that I can maintain for much of an hour? (Not that I ever sit in the same position for an hour.) Am I in physical pain? What parts of my body are holding tension?

• Holding rocks or shells in my hands. (At this point, I took two rocks out of my pockets, held them up, and asked how many people had rocks in their pockets. Two hands came up at first, then, shyly, several more.) Holding objects from nature, usually rocks, sometimes shells, or feathers, or other things, helps me ground and center. (I'll come back to that in a moment.)

• Looking around at the different people who have come into the Meeting for Worship, and holding them, and the Meeting for Worship, in the Light. This is a common Friends' practice.

• Grounding and centering. This is a common practice in certain Pagan traditions, and involves establishing, or reminding ourselves of, our energy connection to the Earth, and the elements, as well as our connections with each other. Sometimes a particular meditation is helpful; the one I use the most often is the Tree of Life.

• Songs and music. I often have songs or snippets of music running through my head during Meeting for Worship. Often they help me ground and center, help me transition, help me prepare for that shift in consciousness that Taber talks about and that is essential to magic.

The Door Within

This is the change of consciousness, the shift, the magic.

It's usually a subtle shift; occasionally, it's a sudden one. I couldn't say when, time-wise in an hour's Meeting for Worship, it usually happens -- twenty past? half past? twenty til? -- and I wouldn't be surprised if it happens at different times during different Meetings for Worship. Sometimes, it doesn't happen.

I often have music or songs floating through my head, some of them insistently, during this part of worship. Sometimes a specific song will come to me quite suddenly once my consciousness has shifted, and it's often a message about, or a part of, the spiritual work that's taking place -- the magic and transformation.

The magical or spiritual work of Meeting for Worship is to be open to direct connection with the Divine, to the awareness of that connection, to the change that brings, and to be in spiritual communion with each other, as well.

Taber distinguishes between "gathered worship" and "covered worship." I'm not sure I completely understand the difference, but I'd like to share some experiences I've had with each.

I've experienced gathered worship in Meetinghouses. I've experienced it often in worship at Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns. I've experienced it outside.

One place I consistently experienced gathered worship is a once-a-year outdoor Meeting for Worship in my old Meeting. Once every summer, we would have worship and a picnic at our burial ground, in a circle (well, an oval) of oaks. (Which made it uncomfortable to go barefoot.) People would bring lawn chairs, cushions, mats or blankets, and we would worship outside. It was consistently one of my favorite experiences of Meeting for Worship.

We actually really wanted to have our wedding there, but we decided not to -- May in southeastern Pennsylvania is chancy in terms of rain, and we knew there would be people at our wedding who were hard of hearing and Deaf. So instead we had it in the Meeting room. And that turned out to be really important, as did using traditional Quaker wedding promises. Being in that room, where we went for Worship each week, and where so many other couples in the Meeting had had their weddings, turned out to be an important connection to our community and important in supporting our marriage. And when a couple uses traditional Quaker wedding promises, you will often see other couples' lips moving in a reaffirmation of their own promises and in connection with the newly-married couple. Quaker wedding promises connect us to all of those who have gone before, and also to all of those yet-to-become married couples who will come after us.

I had a profound experience of what might be called covered worship -- although for me, as a Witch, things like this come from below, not above; so it felt more like being held than covered -- in a completely silent Meeting for Worship in a field in the Midwest. There were only two of us, there was no vocal ministry whatsoever, and yet there was no doubt for either of us that it was a deep and profound Meeting for Worship, that we were held, together, by that Spirit. We spent the following hour in animated conversation, but it had been a completely silent Meeting for Worship, aside from the sounds of the outdoors.

I find it is sometimes hard to resist the temptation to "do work" in Meeting for Worship. You know, today I will worship on "X," and at the end of Meeting I will be clear about what to do next, I will have discerned how I am led. Well, it just about never works. But it's still hard to resist, especially if I have a lot going on in my spiritual life.

Meeting for Worship is usually a much better experience if I'm simply able to be open and fully present. If I am able to be in "expectant waiting" without preconceptions. That's when the magic happens.

The Door Beyond

Transition to ordinary consciousness; taking forward transformation and change

At the end of Meeting, we have to return to ordinary consciousness, ordinary time and space. Sometimes that transition is jarring. Although I know Taber and other Friends have trouble with them, I find introductions and announcements sometimes help that. At least, if announcements don't go on too long.

Shaking hands, the traditional signal of the end of Meeting for Worship, helps ground us in our bodies and in our connections with each other. In Witchcraft and many other forms of Paganism, we pat down our bodies [I demonstrated this], and we eat and drink at the end of ritual as a way to be fully present in our bodies in ordinary time and space. Here, we have coffee, tea, and snacks in the social hall.

Also, what transformation and change am I talking forward with me? What concrete manifestation of magic -- or, as Taber would say, of the work of the Inward Christ -- do I take forward with me into my week? We may know right away -- I need to do this, I need to talk to this person, I need to make this phone call, I need to take time to do this, I need to make this change in my life. Sometimes we may not know, not until later in the week, not until after many Meetings for Worship. Sometimes what we take forward is simply a greater awareness of our connection with the Divine, or a sense of community.

Going back, something you'll sometimes see people do is touch the ground. [I demonstrated this, then asked the group:] After a really deep Meeting for Worship, how many people feel buzzy, or light-headed, or off in the clouds? (Hands raised.) Touching the ground, or even formally grounding and centering again, through breathing or a Tree of Life, can help release that excess energy back into the Earth, where we can always reach it.

So, that's basically how I would say I walk through Taber's Four Doors.

Questions and discussion

Here are a few of the things that came up during questions and discussion; I know I'm not capturing them all.

One Friend asked about how I came to Quakerism, so I shared a brief version of that story. Another Friend asked about a example of concrete magic; I talked about the magic at the heart of the usual Roses, Too! Tradition Brigid ritual, around powerlessness and power-from-within, with the concrete magic of lighting many, many candles, and talked about how that can then be taken forward into daily life. Friends shared experiences of conversations about ritual and worship within Quakerism; conflicts in a local community garden over the symbolism of a sculpture and about fertility; and more.

We could have talked much longer, but our hour was up.

[I also handed out a resource sheet, an invitation to the Roses, Too! Tradition Spring Equinox/Eostara potluck at our house that afternoon, and some lyrics to songs that are likely to get stuck in my head during Meeting for Worship.]

It was a really positive experience for me.

Ministry among Pagans

Thought from last month's OLOTEAS visit -- the workshop I did there, and the conversations I had with folks there:

For the last few years, I've really been focused on my ministry among Friends who are Pagan. I've felt shy about being too openly Quaker among Pagans, as if somehow I'd be "preaching Quakerism" to folks.

Part of my reluctance is because as Pagans, we've had way too much experience with people from organized religions preaching their versions of truth and reality and religion on us. Part of my reluctance is also because I've felt censure and judgement from some Friends for ministering to Pagans who aren't Friends - as if spiritual need, and what the Goddess asks of me, is limited to needs among Friends. (And thinking about it now, these are also Friends from whom I've heard big reservations about my ministry among Pagan Friends.)

But there are always a small handful of folks each year who find the QuakerPagans list, or find me at this blog or my website, or find Cat and Peter's blog, who are interested or drawn to Friends' testimonies, worship, and practices. Who are Pagans to whom Quakerism speaks - as Pagans. Hmmm.

And I haven't really thought much at all about Pagans who used to be more involved with Friends. I think this is an important need, an important ministry.

So this is something I also need to think about. And just see where the Goddess takes me.

Happy Eostara!

I am singing from "The Lady's Bransle" by Hope Athearn and Artemesia (to the tune of "Nonesuch"):

Oh, she shall bring the buds in the Spring, and laugh among the flowers...

Defining Quaker Pagan / Pagan Quaker / Pagan Friend / etc

I am thinking about a conversation Cat Chapin-Bishop and I had back in December, and something I've been chewing on since then.

Back when Cat and I first started our respective listservs -- Quagans, and Quaker/Pagans, since merged -- we both had to come up with definitions that worked for us and for our sense of the folks we knew at the time. We each worshipped on it, did magic around it, talked to other people, and did our best.

Here's the definition currently in use on the QuakerPagans listserv:

• Quakers, or those familiar with Friends, who experience That-Which-Is-Sacred primarily through Nature, the Earth, and Her seasons, the Divine Feminine, the Goddess and the God, or other pre-Christian Deities, or who also identify as Pagan;

• Pagans who find Friends worship and testimonies -- Peace, Simplicity, Equality, Integrity, and Stewardship/Earthcare -- essential to walking through life, or who also identify as Quakers.

And here's my set of working definitions from my web page on my ministry among Pagan Friends:

• Someone who is a member of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers), or who identifies as a Friend/Quaker; and who experiences That-Which-Is-Sacred primarily through Nature, the Earth, Her cycles and seasons, the Divine Feminine, the Goddess and the God, or other pre-Christian Deities, or who also identifies as Pagan;

• Someone who identifies as a Pagan; and who finds Friends' practices, worship, and testimonies (Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality, and Earthcare) essential to their lives, or who is also a member of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) or identifies as a Friend/Quaker.

So, here are my questions for you, my readers:

• Do these definitions work for you?

• If not, what definition(s) would work for you?

• What definition(s) would be the most honest and inclusive of our community?

I am reminded of the work we did in Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns, FLGBTQC, around changing our name.

We had been Friends for Lesbian and Gay Concerns, FLGC, for a long time. We knew our name no longer reflected our community accurately. We took a lot of time in worship to discern how the Spirit was calling us to name ourselves and our witness to Friends and to the world.

People may laugh at our name. I've heard Friends say, "If I were there, we never would have taken that name." I think that yes, we would have: we were very clearly led.

The Quaker Pagan community is not comparable to the FLGBTQC one: we don't meet officially; we're not an organization; we don't do business together; etc.

Nonetheless, we are crucial, as loosely-organized as we are, to building community -- within the Religious Society of Friends, and also among Pagans who are attracted to Quakerism but don't know where to start, or who grew up in the RSoF or went to Quaker schools, and don't know how to come back, or even to come visit.

So, what is a Quaker Pagan / Pagan Quaker / Pagan Friend / etc.?

I know I need to write about...

I know I need to write about the violence in Israel-Palestine; my experience doing peace witness there; white skin/Western privilege; Tristan Anderson's shooting last week; Tom Hurndall's shooting in 2003 (and death in 2004); and this week's anniversary of Rachel Corrie's murder, also in 2003.

But right now, I am too damned angry.

Please hold us all in the Light.

Resources:
Christian Peacemaker Teams, http://cpt.org/
The International Solidarity Movement, http://palsolidarity.org/

Mid-Winter Gathering 2009 Epistle from Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns

[note: this should soon appear on the relevant page of the FLGBTQC website.]

02/15/2009

Dear Friends General Conference and Friends Everywhere,

We send loving greetings to you with this letter, as well as an invitation.

We are gathered at Camp Adams near Molalla, OR for the 2009 annual Midwinter Gathering of Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Concerns. During our time together, we have been exploring this year’s theme “Faith Calls for Justice on the Same Terms.” On our first evening together, we heard stories from and about our spiritual pioneers (both in modern and biblical times). We spent time in worship and worship sharing. We tended to the business of our beloved community. We participated in interest groups on a variety of offerings including trans and other queer concerns, Walt Whitman, Love Makes a Family, singing and others. On Saturday evening, we were blessed with a one-person play by a member of our community who has written about trans folk in the Hebrew and Christian scriptures. During all of these times, as well as in fellowship around meals, during walks in the woods surrounding the grounds, and in private conversations we found a blessed time to renew our spirits and support each other.

During our meeting for worship with attention to business a letter from the clerks of the 2009 FGC Gathering was read. While we were glad to learn of the work being done to help ensure the safety of our families who are planning to attend this year’s gathering in Virginia, we were also saddened that once again the Gathering is being held in a place where state laws and constitutions have been re-written to take away our civil rights, including freedom of religion and equality. It is with great sadness of heart that we realize how difficult it is becoming for FGC to find a site for the Gathering where this is not the case. More and more, our families fear that they will not be allowed to make medical decisions about their loved ones or they fear that authorities may not recognize their adoptions, civil unions, and legal marriages. We continue to face the nightmare that loved ones may find themselves alone, while we are prevented from being with them at the times they most need us!

We remembered with gratitude that FGC joined with us in creating opportunities for witnessing to the power of God’s Love in our lives and in our marriages the last time the Gathering was in Blacksburg, and that they stood with us and spoke out for us at that time. We also remember with gratitude the loving minute approved by the FGC Central Committee a few years ago affirming “Our experience has been that spiritual gifts are not distributed with regard to sexual orientation or gender identity. Our experience has been that our gatherings and Central Committee work have been immeasurably enriched over the years by the full participation and Spirit-guided leadership of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer Friends. We will never go back to silencing those voices or suppressing those gifts. Our experience confirms that we are all equal before God, as God made us, and we feel blessed to be engaged in the work of FGC together."

We acknowledge and appreciate the many times FGC and our meetings have stood for us and with us by approving minutes of support and acknowledging and celebrating our unions and families. We still have work to do. We are now led to invite you to explore ways you, our meetings and faith communities can walk with us in witnessing to the World what we know experientially; that God’s love is indivisible and is not withheld from anyone or any couple seeking to live faithfully in holy union. Our silence and the silence of supportive faith communities make it easier for those claiming to speak with the authority of faith to insert their religious doctrine into the laws that govern our lives, as witnessed recently with the passing of Proposition 8 in California.

Today we are called to:

• Invite FGC and our meetings to join us in bringing Quakers together to help us all understand what is meant by “that which God joins together.” Many meetings struggle with the issues marriage raises. What are the differences between marriage as a civil institution and as a “God anointed” union? How can Friends help in the struggle for full marriage equality for same sex couples?

• Invite FGC to join with FLGBTQC to consider together how and when to bear witness to our experience as a faith community concerning queer marriage and civil rights in part because many sites (like in Virginia) will give us Opportunities to witness to the power of God’s love in our lives and in our families.

• Invite FGC to convene a Gathering or small conference whose theme would be “Who so ever God has joined together” which would address issues of marriage, family and relationships of all orientations and gender. We would suggest that Friends from all “sides” of the marriage question be invited to participate.
  

• Invite our meetings to provide support committees for LGBTQ members and their families when meetings are discerning whether they can or cannot take their marriages under the meeting’s care or when those Friends are made vulnerable because of faith-based witness around civil and constitutional rights in the wider community.

• Invite meetings to participate fully in civil discussions and legislative activism to help speak Truth of our experience of God’s Love for all. Our work can minister to others as we share our own ongoing process as models for other faith communities. We see this as an Opportunity for our meetings to speak publicly to our deeply rooted experience that God calls us to lives of Love and that Love takes many forms.

• We ask FGC, monthly meetings and yearly meetings to raise up the issues of equality and the ways in which our LGBTQ families are most in danger when they travel or seek help, whatever those meetings’ views on LGBTQ marriage.

We want to affirm to you all the power of the witness that our straight allies bring to our own lives and in the wider community. We do not experience this issue as simply a matter of marriage rights, but as a need to affirm and recognize that it is the richness of diversity that has strengthened and nurtured this country and our faith communities through the ages. Friends have long witnessed to a testimony of equality and we ask Friends to join with us in asking our government for equal protection and equal rights for all people.

God has been joining members of our LGBTQ community in loving marriages and relationships for long before these modern times. We are certain that some day civil laws will be enacted that legalize and recognize LGBTQ marriages and other civil rights. We have faith that God will continue to bless our lives. We have hope that civil rights will be in our life times. We know that Love, radical Love, will prevail.

With love and on behalf of Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Concerns,



Karen Lightner and Neil Fullagar, co-clerks
Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC)
(contact info available here)

Recent work (February con't: OLOTEAS)

Last Saturday, I presented a one-hour session of Singing the Goddess at Our Lady of the Earth and Sky's annual Community Festival.

Late in the week, I'd had a serious attack of introversion. I've been to several OLOTEAS events since moving to Seattle; a local F/friend of mine asked me to sing in the chorus for their August ritual before I even arrived. :) But all of a sudden, I was just certain I'd be spending the day with a bunch of people I barely know and would feel left out, lonely, and weird the whole time. So, I asked for help, and folks held me in the Light, held me in the Goddess, thought of me, and prayed for me. And it did help.

So by Saturday, I felt both well-prepared and back in my groove, if still a little shy.

I arrived and checked in, set up my stuff - crocheted items, books, and cds - and then went to a workshop.

It was a really neat workshop called "The Goddess Mama in YOU!," which has given me some neat stuff to work on personally. It'll be interesting to see how all that settles: my relationship with the Goddess as Mother; how I manifest the Mother; how I see the women who have mothered me - well or poorly - as the Goddess incarnate; how I see myself as the Mother incarnate; how I experience the Earth as Mother; how I experience the larger Goddess as Mother... and I can tell there's a lot that's not in words yet, but busily working away beneath the surface.

I spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with folks... the dreaded introvert-among-people-I-barely-know-(all-of-whom-must-know-each-other-well) time. Which it was so not. I had a lovely conversation with someone there for the first time, another conversation getting to know someone else a little better, got cheerful suggestions from folks just hanging out about how to get people to respect my taped finger where I've strained a ligament. (This included a winning suggestion from a vet tech, who was musing about the brightly-colored wrap they use on injured animals. We still have some shockingly-bright wrap material from when one of our cats had a tail injury that had to be kept taped... That ought to help get people to stop squeezing!)

I also connected with a few other folks who'd grown up among Friends, which was both really neat and has gotten me thinking. More on that in a future post.

My workshop was the first after dinner. We had a larger group than I expected, mixed grown-ups and kids, women and men, with a wide range of comfort levels and musical abilities... who just jumped in and were willing to try whatever I thought might be fun. It was great! They also tackled some harder stuff, although I really wanted to make sure I provided them with some easy songs and chants they could use in their own rituals. And it was very cool having kids dancing during the workshop.

I also made some lovely connections with other folks in the area around song circles and Bardic circles and intervisitation. Excellent.

So, happy Stasa.

And then I went to a Discordian Ritual of Discord and Jelly Donuts. Hooray! It had been much too long. Besides being lots of fun, and a reminder of one of the core values of Roses! Too Tradition (and one of our occasional matron Goddesses), it was good to feel spiritually back in touch with dear friends back home like Fedor, The Mad One. And did I mention there were jelly donuts? Yes!

(Hmmm. I think there need to be jelly donuts at my Spring Equinox potluck.)

Hail Eris!

So it was a good experience and a good day.

Recent work (January and February)

Now that February is over, and given that I asked for spiritual help for one of my February events - and also given that I've done a terrible job of posting here about how events have gone - I thought I would do just that. :)

2009 started off much calmer than the end of 2008, thankfully. And then my ministry work got busy again quickly.

In January and February, I hosted my usual Full Moon Meetings for Worship (followed by potluck tea). They've been smaller lately, and in some ways both more mellow and more intense. I'm hoping to get some community built up around these so that folks might continue to meet even after I move in August, if that's still a need in the community.

January also saw the start of my second semester at Cherry Hill Seminary. This term I'm taking two more very cool classes - Understanding the Ritual Experience, and the Psychology of Gender. Both are very interesting given my academic, cultural, professional, ministerial, and religious backgrounds in Catholicism, Judaism, Quakerism, feminist Witchcraft, psychology, women's studies, trauma theory, trauma recovery, and pastoral counseling. Yet again, Pagan geek heaven. There's also another Quaker in one of my classes, which is great, because then I'm not the only one speaking from a Quaker perspective or the only one trying to explain relevant Quaker things. And my instructors are wonderful, as are my classmates.

From one event in January, I then went to facilitating four in February: Full Moon Meeting for Worship; Brigid/Candlemas/Imbolc Celebration in the Roses, Too! Tradition; and two Singing the Goddess workshops.

The Brigid celebration was also small. The potluck was just really nice, and in particular gave me the opportunities to experiment with soup-making without following Mark Bittman's instructions to the letter, and to get to know a few people, whom I like but don't know well, a little better. This was neat.

And the magic in ritual was very powerful. (In typical Roses, Too! fashion, there were in fact lots and lots of tealights; it was amazing to see my living room lit up in a physical manifestation of the spiritual work and the magic we were doing together.) It's been quite a while since I've done Roses, Too!-style Brigid, and it felt really good. I've missed structuring my personal spiritual work around the cycle of the seasons in this particular way; it's good for me.

Beloved Wife and I went to Camp Adams in Mollala, OR, for the Mid-Winter Gathering of Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns.

(I'd had a crazy week before - shorting myself on sleep to get everything done for school, budget reports (I'm currently serving as FLGBTQC's treasurer), and workshop prep. This turned out to be a mistake, because of course I got sick. I knew this when I was an undergrad lo these many years ago. What, I forgot or something?)

Mid-Winter Gathering was good. FLGBTQC is one of the places I feel completely loved and honored for all of me; our worship is deep and rich; and our Meetings for Worship with Attention to Business are amazing. (I'll post our Epistle once it's available; you can see past Epistles here.) Our Talent-less Show was also a great deal of fun. My special thanks go to all who serve our community; to our Planning Committee; to our plenary speakers, for sharing their experience of faith calling for justice on the same terms; and to Friend Peterson Toscano, for his work, deep sharing, and vulnerability in presenting his piece Transfigurations - Trangressing Gender in the Bible.

At Mid-Winter, I taught a 90-minute session of Singing the Goddess. It was a small but fabulous group that cheerfully tackled some more challenging pieces. I wished we could have spent more time together. When I was called on rather last-minute for the Talent-less Show, several of these Friends stood up with me and helped teach, then lead, the room in singing Ursula LeGuin and Benjamin Newman's "The Creation of Ea" (from A Wizard of Earthsea). And the room sang it in round. Awesome!

Last Saturday, I presented a one-hour session of Singing the Goddess at Our Lady of the Earth and Sky's annual Community Festival. More on that in my next post.

Elder for Saturday

I am teaching a Singing the Goddess Workshop Saturday at Our Lady of the Earth and Sky's Community Festival. (I also hope to exhibit and sell some of my crocheted pieces, some copies of A Winter Solstice Singing Ritual, and some copies of The Earth Will Turn Over.)

And I am having an attack of introversion.

So I am looking for some folks to act as elders/companions in the ministry/spiritual support persons.

What does such a person do?

• Hold me in the Light/in spiritual care, any of the following times: between now and the workshop; during the day Saturday while I'm at OLOTEAS; and from 7-8 Pacific Time Saturday while I'm actually in the workshop. You could be anywhere and help me this way. :) I am hoping several people will agree to do this.

• If you're in the Puget Sound area, come with me to OLOTEAS on Saturday, spend the day with me there, and be present during my workshop while holding me in the Light/in spiritual care.

In the past, I've had the experience where knowing that folks were holding me in their spiritual care/in the Light/in the care of That-Which-Is-Sacred has made a huge difference for me when doing something challenging.

I'm not sure why Saturday feels like something challenging, but it does; it could simply be the prospect of spending the day with a bunch of people I don't know very well!

So if you can help me out, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks.

Not-quite-OT: Scottish Country Dancing

Some of you know that one of the things I am passionate about is Scottish Country Dancing, and that I also teach it. (I, half-jokingly, posted instructions for the dance Wild Geese to the Brigid poetry slam.)

Here is a video (link here) to a group of very ordinary dancers doing an amazing thing -- setting a world record for the number of people dancing together. These are all dances I've done, and the Eightsome Reel is one of my favorites, and which I haven't had the chance to dance in much too long.

Note the intergenerational and social aspects of this! :) Also note the really amazing St. Andrew's Cross that the combined sets make when viewed from above.



And here is a video (link here) to another group of Scottish dancers (country and highland) doing something very clever and very silly...



Enjoy!

Explicit Meeting for Worship?

Some thoughts from a recent First Day Meeting for Worship. - sm

Is it "all right" to have explicitly Pagan Meeting for Worship?

Let's turn it around. Is it "all right" to have explicitly Christian Meeting for Worship?

It's not just our Christian roots as Friends that make it acceptable to us to sit in expectant waiting on Jesus or Christ. It's that Christianity is the dominant culture in our country in terms of religion -- the dominant group.

But That-Which-Is-Sacred is bigger than just Jesus. It's bigger, even, than the Trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost/Holy Spirit.

To some Christians, that's heresy: "Godless Pagans!"

And yet, to many Pagans, a refusal to recognize the Goddess -- the Divine Feminine, the Earth Who nurtures us and on Whom we are dependent for life -- is heresy: "Goddessless Christians!"

(And, in the words of Sojourner Truth, "Where did your Christ come from?")

If the Divine is bigger than Jesus or the Goddess (or the God), should we sit in expectant waiting on those -- or any -- particular facets of the Divine?

The faces of the Divine we know, with which we have experience, are the ones that are the most accessible to us. They are the facets through which we come to know the whole, or more of the whole, because as humans, we can never fully comprehend or know the Whole of the Divine.

Notes from a talk by Gene Robinson in Seattle

Gene Robinson, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire, gave a talk in Seattle on January 12, 2009. Here are some of my notes from his talk.

Robinson is the first openly gay bishop to serve in this function. He's also an amazingly loving human being.

Why did I go to his talk, and why am I posting about it here?

I went to his talk because I believe in the work he's doing, even if he's a member of a patriarchal religion with which I have some essential issues and disagreements. I went because I have Episcopal and Anglican friends to whom this is important.

Mostly, I went because I respect his courage and wanted to affirm it and support it.

I expected, based on the little of his book I've yet read, and on hearing retired Episopal Bishop John Shelby Spong speak at FGC Gathering, for Robinson's talk to be very legalistic in terms of faith and canon law. It was anything but.

I found Robinson's talk to be inspiring, warm, and loving. It provided me with some interesting insight.

I also found that Robinson has some things to say to Friends, whether he or we realize it or not. I very much hope he can be our plenary speaker at an upcoming FGC Gathering.

- sm

For my friend d: as a bishop, Robinson gets to wear a fuchsia shirt every day.

I am so lucky to have come out into a faith community. [Note: when I came out, I almost immediately found Dignity/Baltimore; I lost neither my relationship with the Divine, nor spiritual community, for coming out. For far too many LGBTQ folks, coming out means losing our faith communities.]

Some "...called on me to resign, naively believing that if I go away, this issue will go away"

"Most of the discrimination GLBT people have faced is at the hands of people of faith," especially the three Abrahamic religions

"Spilling of seed" related to ancient vs. modern understanding of biology and reproduction; also why prohibition against male homosexual behavior

"Jesus, not the Bible, is the perfect revelation of God" --> Jesus as Word
--> placing the Bible above Jesus as revealed Word of God "is a form of idolatry"
--> Holy Spirit as avenue of revealed truth
--> biblical basis of [Friends concept of] continuing revelation
--> Jesus' words from the Last Supper: "Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth"

sin of heterosexism in secular society rather than of homophobia
--> must dismantle that system of privileges

"I believe that what we are up against in this struggle is the beginning of the end of patriarchy" --> rooted in sexism and misogyny
- "Patriarchy is at the beginning of the end in the Church"

in no other area are our laws so rooted in religion

political decisions -- ie, how I vote -- should be based on what my faith tells me, not what God says or what religion says

distinction between civil rights and religious rites
- separate where each happens and who does each
- great educational tool

Q&A
- "We have to be the Church God is calling us to be" with respect to LGBTQ inclusion; "We know [this vision/this version of it] doesn't make sense to you"
- Seeing Gene Robinson and George Bush both as America pushing itself on everyone else (particularly in Africa) - "drunken cowboy" ("That's probably the worst thing anybody's ever said about me")

Another cost of bigotry, classism, bullying, homophobia, and heterosexism

I spent the weekend in Molalla, OR, at the Mid-Winter Gathering for Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns. And I've been thinking about something that came up the last day in my worship-sharing group.

I recently became Facebook friends with someone I'd been friends with in high school. I sought her out and "friended" her; she accepted, with a note that she'd been wondering when I'd turn up, since it seemed like just about everyone else had.

This gave me pause.

I've kept in touch with almost no one I went to high school with. The two notable exceptions are my best friend from those days -- who is also on Facebook -- and someone else I barely knew, who'd gone to the same college but whom I'd easily avoided there, but whom I discovered many years later is also a lesbian and a also feminist Jew.

I hated high school. I was a charity kid at an all-girls' private college-prep day and boarding school. I got an excellent education and had a terrible time. I had a panic attack the first time I went back on campus after graduation.

There were so many ways I didn't fit in. The most obvious was class. Everybody knew I was one of the charity kids. I wore the wrong clothes. My parents drove me back and forth to school every day in the wrong kind of car -- a beat-up old jalopy, not a shiny BMW or Mercedes. We didn't vacation in the right places (we didn't go on vacation at all). I'd never been out of the US, or even on an airplane. I'd never ridden a horse, except for ponies at the occasional fair, and one summer when I got financial aid to the archdiocesan day camp, both of which definitely didn't count. I was also two or three years younger than most of my classmates, most of whom had been together through middle school, some since elementary school, although there was always an influx of new girls in 9th grade. Being "the smart one" was no help.

I developed a small group of friends -- 6 of us from different grades who hung out together and, for the most part, kept each other sane.

In 9th or 10th grade, the guidance counselor called my then-mother to alert her that she was going to call me in for a conference. Because some of the other girls had come to her saying that I was a lesbian and that my best friend and I were lovers.

I didn't entirely understand this when I was told about it, but I knew it was a terrible thing. I didn't even know what lesbians were. When I asked, I was told they were women who liked to sleep with other women, and I was really puzzled: Why? And besides, I wasn't having sex with anybody. And besides again, what could two girls do in bed together? (I have to snicker at this one, because by senior year, I knew -- thanks to my boyfriend -- just how much sex, and fun, two consenting teenagers can have without ever technically meeting the definition of "sex" I held back then.)

What it boiled down to was this: my best friend and I were too physically affectionnate with each other, and it had to stop. And our friendship was too intense, too, so we'd better scale that back.

Except it's not like the harassment stopped.

I couldn't win.

I realized the confrontation with the school counselor -- and a right nasty confrontation it was, with me in hysterical tears -- was related to a whole bunch of outright harassment from a particular group of girls, and more covert harassment from others. And that harassment only got worse. I was so tired of being afraid to be alone with my classmates.

Fast forward fifteen or so years. I was reading my college's alumnae magazine, and in the news about the class who'd been seniors my first year, read about someone spending the millenium in Paris with her girlfriend. And then I realized, this was someone who'd also gone to my high school. I wasn't the only one. I'd known that statistically I probably wasn't... but now I knew. And it was even someone I'd liked, even if I'd barely known her. When I "friended" her on our college alumnae networking site a few years later, I thanked her for sending that in, and she talked about how she'd made the decision.

Fast forward more years. My best friend from high school and I had been to each other's weddings, we'd gotten together briefly when I was in CA recently for a work trip with Beloved Wife, we'd "friended" each other on Facebook. My high school best friend was Facebook friends with a couple of other girls from high school, but I wasn't interested: we weren't friends then, we're not friends now.

And then something made me search for one of the other upperclasswomen from our little group, and send her a friend request.

But when I realized she's Facebook friends with other women I went to high school with, I realized didn't want to post anything they could see that would identify me as a lesbian.

Ouch.

I was mulling on this in worship-sharing this weekend at FLGBTQC Mid-Winter. In a recent retreat at my Meeting here in Seattle, we had identified shame as a marker of not being centered in the Divine, of not being in right relation. In worship-sharing this weekend, I thought, I am out in almost every aspect of my life. Why would I be ashamed if women who knew me in high school know I'm a lesbian?

Well, because I was still stuck feeling like a terrified and ashamed fourteen-year-old who wasn't safe at school or at home.

What if I turned it around?

What if it was no longer, Oh, yeah, Stasa turned out to be a lesbian (*snicker*)?

What if no one remembered? What if nobody actually remembered the harassment, me nearly getting pulled out of school, my being afraid to be alone with my classmates; what if no one remembered they'd thought I might be a lesbian? After all, I'd had a boyfriend and been all but engaged when I graduated, and the best friend whom I was supposedly being a lesbian with is happily married to a man, so it's possible.

That possibility opened up some space inside my head. Opened up twenty-plus years' worth of space in my head.

What if the story now was:

My high school was a horribly homophobic place where I didn't feel safe. The bullying of my schoolmates, and the lack of protection from the faculty, made my life and my coming out that much harder, increased my risk of suicide, and increased the danger I faced in dating violence as a young adult.

What if I am no longer ashamed -- no longer afraid -- but am now, rightly so, angry?

What if I say to my former schoolmates, "I am a lesbian, there's no excuse for the homophobic bullying that happened to me in high school"?

Well, that's what I'm saying now: I am a lesbian, and there was no excuse for the homophobic bullying that I went through in high school.

This month's Friends Journal

There are two things I'd like to recommend from this month's Friends Journal:

One is the cover. The combination of the photo and the poetry by Christopher Fowler prompted me to stop, breathe, and smile in delight as soon as I opened my mailbox.

The second is Merry Stanford's article, "I Am Who I Am," which addresses all sorts of issues I think readers of this blog are interested in.

I am grateful to Merry for her courage and faithfulness, and for forwarding a dialog that we desperately need to continue in the Religious Society of Friends. Thank you.

Poetry for Brigid, III: "the workshop," Stasa Morgan-Appel

I wrote this in the fall of 2006 in worship as part of my preparation for the workshop I was teaching at FGC Gathering the following summer in River Falls. - sm

the worskhop
stasa morgan-appel, (c) 2006

teach it from your truth
from being centered as well as
grounded
teach your experience
don’t lean over so you’re over-
balanced, overweighted at top
sink into your belly
butt on the ground, face to the sun
what do you know?
teach what you know

teach silence and breathing and bubbles
brooms, noisemakers, song
welcome the air, fire, water, earth, and spirit

walk the circle

say “this space is mine
this space is different
this is not our everyday”
this is space we have cleared out
this is space we have set aside
this is space to consciously encounter the Divine
what happens here?

what do we find in the center
what gifts of the Spirit?

what magic do we create here
to take back out into the world?
what change?

how will i walk in the world with
the transformation and change
of this circle?
what is the magic i take back
with me?
how am i changed?

what happens when I come face-
to-face with the Divine…?


sing, dance, drum, make noise,
be energy
put it all to the transformation
from the experience of the Divine

see the Goddess in your face and
celebrate Her
feel and see the Goddess in your heart and
rejoice
be the Goddess in the world


come quiet again
sink back down to the ground
with your face to the sky
what happens when you encounter
the Divine?

joy… joy… joy…
breathe
breathe until you start to come
back to the ordinary

look around the circle
eat, drink, and be merry
feel your body
bless each other
thank the air, earth, water, fire, and spirit

take them with you
back into the world
with the magic of this space
be the Goddess in the world
be the magic in the world
blessed be

be what you know

Poetry for Brigid, IIa: "Wild Geese," (J8x32) 3C (4C set) RSCDS 24

Dance may be poetry in motion. This "Wild Geese" is a Scottish Country dance, a dance form I love and which I teach. - sm

The Wild Geese (J8x32) 3C (4C set) RSCDS 24

"The Wild Geese" is a 32-bar jig for three couples in a four-couple set, from the Royal Scottish Country Dance Society Book 24.

1- 8
1s+3s set advancing & balance in line, turn partners right hand, 1s cast to 3rd place while 3s lead up to 1st place
9-16
3s+1s set advancing & balance in line, turn partners right hand, 3s cast to 3rd place while 1s lead up to 1st place
17-24
1s lead down & back to 2nd place
25-32
2s+1s dance right and lefts

courtesy of minicrib

Poetry for Brigid, II: "Wild Geese," Mary Oliver

Wild Geese

Poetry for Brigid, I: "random interview," pat lowther

For why I have a connection with this poem, see my blog entry "what i want" from November of 2007. - sm

RANDOM INTERVIEW

Pat Lowther
From: Time Capsule, Polestar 1996, p. 242.

Invitation to The Fourth Annual Brigid in the Blogosphere Poetry Slam

Brigid is the triple Goddess of healing, smithcraft, and poetry. In her honor, many women over the last three years have blogged poetry in her honor. And this year is the fourth!

From Deborah Oak:

Feel free to copy the following to your blog and spread the word. Let poetry bless the blogosphere once again!

WHAT: A Bloggers (Silent) Poetry Reading

WHEN: Anytime February 2, 2009

WHERE: Your blog

WHY: To celebrate the Feast of Brigid, aka Groundhog Day

HOW: Select a poem you like - by a favorite poet or one of your own - to post February 2nd.

RSVP: If you plan to publish, feel free to leave a comment and link on this post. Last year when the call went out there was more poetry in cyberspace than I could keep track of. So, link to whoever you hear about this from and a mighty web of poetry will be spun.

Feel free to pass this invitation on to any and all bloggers.

Thank you, Reya, for beginning what is now an annual event.

New York Yearly Meeting's Minute on Torture

This is a powerful video. - sm

New York Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends' (Quakers) statement on torture, approved on July 25, 2008. In this statement, Quakers from New York and parts of New Jersey and Connecticut sign on to the National Religious Campaign Against Torture's (nrcat.org) "Statement of Conscience" and its "Declaration of Principles" seeking an end to torture.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMbeDd_W9AM

That was not a dream... it was an earthquake

(Everything's fine.)

I've now been through four earthquakes. Three of them, including the one I slept through, have been in the last year. (!)

I woke up just shy of 5:30 this morning, wondering why on earth one of the cats had chosen just that moment to do kitty yoga so vigorously that she was shaking the bed. She, however, was not on the bed. Her sister was, but she wasn't grooming. I thought, "Is this an earthquake...? It's going on too long to be a heavy truck going by... No, if it was an earthquake, the cats would be hiding under the bed..."

And I fell back to sleep. And dreamed about being in an earthquake.

Later, the alarm went off, the cats demanded breakfast, and I happened to turn on the news.

!

It was no dream! There was a mild earthquake. Details from the Associated Press, here; from the Seattle Times, here.

(The other earthquakes were on the East Coast, in 1986 (epicenter in Ohio); in Manchester, England, in February of 2008, which I slept through (epicenter in Lincolnshire); and Ann Arbor, MI, spring 08 (epicenter in Illinois).)

Lillian's obituary

Lillian's obit from the Daily News. - sm

Lillian Willoughby, Quaker activist, dies at 93

By JOHN F. MORRISON
Philadelphia Daily News

morrisj@phillynews.com 215-854-5573

LILLIAN WILLOUGHBY had a vision of a world at peace.

She and her husband, George, dedicated Quakers, chased this impossible dream all over the world, conducting nonviolent protests against war and preparations for war for nearly 70 years.

They even refused to pay federal taxes that they deemed were going to pay for war. As a result of these activities, they often ran afoul of law-enforcement and judicial officials who did not share their passion for peace.

Lillian Willoughby died Thursday just shy of her 94th birthday. She lived on the Old Pine Farm Land Trust in Deptford, Gloucester County, part of the New Jersey Green Acres program.

In 2004, she and other activists spent seven days in the federal detention center in Philadelphia for blocking the entrance to the Federal Building in a protest against the Iraq war. They chose jail over $250 fines.

In a statement read in court, she summed up her philosophy of peace and justice.

"I am approaching my 90th year," she said. "I had high hopes of leaving this earth confident that the people on it knew more about nonviolence and conflict resolution.

"Even after 9/11 we had a window of opportunity to do just that. By working with the United Nations and the World Court we could have helped build a stronger world community, a community of fairness and justice for all, where compassion, understanding, forgiveness, imagination, sharing and courage are valued and practiced."

In 2006, she and other older activists, including the poet Sonia Sanchez, then 72, were charged with defiant trespass for refusing to leave a Center City military recruiting station after trying to enlist to serve in Iraq. A judge dismissed the charges.

They called themselves the "Granny Peace Brigade."

In 2003, she and other demonstrators had their heads shaved outside the Liberty Bell in the name of peace. They intended to send the shorn hair to senators from Pennsylvania and New Jersey to express their opposition to the war.

From 1971 to 1987, Lillian and her husband ran a commune in West Philadelphia devoted to helping the community. The site included 20 houses that made up the Movement for a New Society.

The Willoughbys lived in a small third-floor apartment where they practiced living simply. When a Daily News reporter encountered them there in June 1980, they were baking their own bread. The group started the first Take Back the Night rally, an idea that became an annual anti-crime event.

Taking on the simple life was also a way to keep any income away from the federal government. Even so, the IRS confiscated their red Volkswagen for back taxes. During the auction at the IRS headquarters in Chester in 1970, the Willoughbys and supporters served lemonade in the hallway before submitting the winning bid of $900 to buy the car back.

Lillian was brought up on a farm in West Branch, Iowa. She attended a Quaker boarding school and later graduated from the University of Iowa. She became a dietician by trade and worked at hospitals and nursing homes.

She met her husband in Iowa. He was a conscientious objector during World War II and helped find homes for Japanese-Americans who had been put in camps at the outbreak of the war.

"She was loving, honest and forthright," said longtime friend and fellow Quaker Lynne Shivers. "She had a deep belief in the Quaker ideal of creating a nonviolent world. She reached out to people who were down, and cared about them."

She also is survived by three daughters, Sally, Anita and Sharon Willoughby; a son, Alan Willoughby, and three grandchildren.

Services: A Quaker memorial meeting will be held at a future date. *

Upcoming events

I've just posted a handful of new events to the bread and roses spiritual nurture web page. They're a mix of things I'm hosting and things I'm traveling to.

I think these might be of interest to different folks:

• In the Pacific Northwest, since the local events I'm hosting might be within traveling distance for you.

• In the Delaware Valley, since I'm going to be back in that area for two years at least, starting this August. Are there things that I do that you might be interested, either in attending, or in having me facilitate for your group?
  

• In other areas. Are you interested in having me travel to come work with your group or spiritual community?
  

I'm particularly excited about some new things.

This fall, I developed two new workshops/retreats: The Goddess Is Alive & Magic Is Afoot, which I'll be facilitating at Friends General Conference Gathering this summer; and Working with Dying and Death: a Day of Comfort and Healing, which is explicitly interfaith.

I'm also spending time today putting together a workshop proposal for Our Lady of the Earth and Sky's Community Festival at the end of February.

For the Upcoming Events page, please click here.
For the bread and roses spiritual nurture main page, please click here.

I hope that folks in the northern hemisphere are enjoying the return of the light. It's amazing to me the difference it makes for me already, since Winter Solstice.

"Ella's Song / We Who Believe in Freedom"

My friend Andy mentioned that Sweet Honey in the Rock should have been there today, singing this. This is so much in the spirit of the day, and it's stuck in my head:

We who believe in freedom cannot rest
We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes
Until the killing of Black men
Black mothers' sons
Is as important as the killing of White men
White mothers' sons...

Link to a video here.

Link to lyrics here.

"Lift Every Voice"

The full text of "Lift Every Voice and Sing," also known as the Black National Anthem, which many of us recognized during Rev. Joseph Lowery's Benediction during today's inauguration of President Barack Obama. For me, Lowery's benediction was one of the most moving parts of the inauguration. - sm

Lift every voice and sing
Til earth and heaven ring
Ring with the harmonies of liberty
Let our rejoicing rise
Tigh as the listening skies
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea

Sing a song
Full of the faith that the dark past has taught us
Sing a song
Full of the hope that the present has brought us
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun
Let us march on til victory is won

Stony the road we trod
Bitter the chast'ning rod
Felt in the days when hope unborn had died
Yet with a steady beat
Have not our weary feet
Come to the place for which our parents sighed?

We have come
Over a way that with tears has been watered
We have come
Treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered
Out from the gloomy past
Til now we stand at last
Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast

God of weary years
God of our silent tears
Thou who hast brought us thus far on the way
Thou who hast by thy might
Led us into the light
Keep us forever in the path, we pray

Lest our feet
Stray from the places, our God, where we met thee
Lest our hearts
Drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee
Shadowed beneath thy hand, may we forever stand
True to our God, true to our native land.

- James Weldon Johnson

"This Land Is Your Land"

I needed my hanky during this. And I'm so thrilled they sang the "less popular" verses that usually get left out. - sm

Pete Seeger and Bruce Springsteen - "This Land Is Your Land" - the Obama Inaugural Celebration Concert

Quakerism in the news

I was happy when I heard this last night on National Public Radio's All Things Considered. - sm

Oath of Office: To Swear Or To Affirm
All Things Considered, January 18, 2009 · The Presidential Oath of Office is laid out in the Constitution. But when Barack Obama takes it on Tuesday, he can choose not to swear. It's a choice all presidents have when being sworn in — a Quaker legacy.

Statement on the War in Gaza from CPT's Palestine Team

from Christian Peacemaker Teams. - sm

CPTnet
14 January 2009

GAZA: Statement on war in Gaza from CPT’s Palestine team

Christian Peacemaker Teams deplores the use of violence, stands with the oppressed, and supports all nonviolent efforts to build justice and peace. We believe God loves both Palestinians and Israelis and regards every person's death a tragedy. With this in mind

-We call on all armed groups to cease killing and traumatizing the children of God.

-We implore our governments to do more to end this massacre in Gaza, including demanding that Israel immediately remove its forces from Gaza and cease aerial bombardment.

-We ask our government representatives to insist that Israel conform to International law in its dealings with the Palestinians.

- We urge our governments and media outlets to press beyond surface explanations as to the cause of this recent conflict between Hamas and Israel and address the 'root' problems (i.e. the systemic oppression and domination of the Palestinian people).

2009 LGBTQ Womyn of Color Conference - Breathing Fire: Channeling the Power Within

I've only just heard about this. It sounds very exciting! If anyone is able to provide a website or such, or any other additional information, I would be grateful. - sm

Summer 2008, a collective of LGBTQ womyn of color decided to gather together to construct a conference, healing and social-justice oriented in its nature, to address many of the concerns affecting our community. That conversation exploded into the 2009 LGBTQ Womyn of Color Conference - Breathing Fire: Channeling the Power Within, which was created by a planning committee of over twenty (20) womyn and trans folks spanning the entire spectrum of people of color from Philadelphia to New Jersey to D.C.

This one-day conference will be held Saturday, April 4th, 2009 at the William Way Center - 1315 Spruce St. Philadelphia, PA 19107 - and will have workshops covering issues within our four themes: Relationships, Sexual Practices, Spirituality and Body/Health.

At your request, we can send our official request for collaboration letter. Outlined in the letter are the various kinds of support needed to ensure that the 2009 LGBTQ Womyn of Color Conference fulfills its potential, such as workshop facilitators, vendors and donors.

We are very excited about this opportunity to work closely with you and/or your organization in developing this conference. If you are interested in participating, please contact LGBTQ.Womyn@gmail.com. We thank you in advance for your time and consideration. We look forward to working with you and/or your organization in the near future.

Please forward this information to others who maybe interested in supporting this conference.

In solidarity,
The LGBTQ Womyn of Color Conference Planning Committee

A little unexpected wood stove geekdom

The apartment which Beloved Wife and I are renting in Seattle doesn't have a central heating system. It comes with electric oil-filled radiators and a woodstove, and our landlady pays utilities, including wood for the woodstove. (I think that bit is very smart on her part, because then she has some say in the management of the woodpile. We once lived in a house with two fireplaces, where the prior tenants hadn't taken very good care of the woodpile... and it was a damp, icky, disintegrating mess.)

I used the woodstove at Samhain for burning mementos to my ancestors and my dead, but wasn't sure we'd ever really use it for heat. I don't have any woodstove experience, in spite of the fact that my parents and my aunt and uncle heat with woodstoves. And although I know how to build campfires and fireplaces fires, I don't know much about building fires in stoves, and I can tell it's a very different sort of thing. (There's no grating; this stove is too tiny to put pieces crosswise... er?) I had this uneasy feeling, too -- while I liked the idea of not using fossil fuel or electricity, and not paying a big utility company to heat my house, I wasn't so sure about the environmental impact of burning wood. Plus, I have asthma -- do I want to heat my house this way?

Then the temps dropped to the 20s F, and there was just no way to get our apartment above 60F with the electric heaters. And there was the threat of electricity outages due to wind and ice. I didn't want to be learning how to use the stove when I couldn't see and it was 50F in our flat.

It was definitely time to fire up the woodstove.

And while I didn't find myself terribly proficient at managing it yet, I did find myself really appreciating, even enjoying, having a fire in the woodstove. There's a subjective difference between heat from a woodstove and heat from radiators, forced-air systems, and the like. I can't quite explain what it is, but it felt different, and I liked it.

I've also found myself appreciating the beauty of wood -- all the different shades of cedar, the sheen of maple -- in a way that's somewhat different from when woodworking or whittling. And I understand in a first-hand way now how Doug fir is fire-resistant, and how seasoned cedar kindling really is different from freshly-split cedar kindling from a seasoned log. There's something I really like about becoming familiar with, and appreciating, wood in this way. It feels akin to honoring the sacrifice of an animal I eat, the sacrifice of the Horned God, or to honoring the death of the plants I eat, the sacrifice of Lugh or the Grain God.

When the temperatures warmed back up, so that we could go back to keeping the house reasonably warm using the electric heaters alone... I felt a little lost without a fire to tend. One website I was reading recently summed it up nicely: heating with a wood-burning stove is a little like having a pet. Its presence is always there; it requires a certain amount of attention; it's warm; it can feel kind of affectionate.

I decided to do some research on how to build a good fire in a woodstove. My perfectionist self was feeling like there must be a better way to get a fire going than my so-so efforts thus far.

I discovered a handful of interesting things out there on the web; as with so much on the internet, some were useful, some less so.

There are a couple of methods to building a new fire in a woodstove that I'm going to try; there's a rather different way of starting new logs from existing coals that I'm also going to try. (Physics!) Crumpled newspaper, which is how I learned to do start fire growing up (gosh, doesn't that sound like I was a juvenile delinquent), does irritating things in a woodstove, and that's been driving me batty; so I'm learning to make "Nantucket Knots" (which somehow remind me of Brigid's Crosses). Physics again!

I'm enjoying the geekdom.

I also know a little about the guy our landlady buys our wood from. I feel good about how buying wood from him helps him support himself.

I like how, if you know where your wood comes from and you buy it locally, you can help support your local economy, can help support sustainable wood harvesting, can help conserve fossil fuel by not hauling your wood long distances. I like participating in the carbon cycle this way. I like getting a little off the grid. I like how a good woodlot is a renewable resource. I like how, if you use your woodstove well, you can produce less pollution than if you heat your home by most forms of commercial heating.

So I am a cautious convert to this wood-heat thing.

Which is not at all what I expected.

Holding the Willoughbys in the Light

from an email from George; if you'd like contact info, please let me know.

Lillian has been an amazing influence on me, as well as on Beloved Wife, and a loving presence in our lives.

- sm

January 5, 2009

Dear Life Center/MNS friends,
Dear F/friends of Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting,

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that Lillian had a stroke on December 23 when we were visiting with our daughter, Anita, and her family and the rest of our family in New York City. Lillian has since been paralyzed on her right side. After a few days, we brought her back to Deptford in an ambulance and we brought a hospital bed for her. She remains at home. Some years ago, she decided that if such an event took place, she would prefer not to be admitted to a hospital since she did not want to live as an invalid. She has chosen not to eat but let nature take its course. She takes sips of water from time to time. She is in no physical pain and can speak short phrases. Our children, Sally (who lives with us), Anita, Alan and Sharon are sharing in her care. Lillian is also visited daily by a hospice worker.

She would like to receive cards or e-mails from her distant friends. Address is [snip]. E-mail to George is [snip] and phone is [snip]. If you are close enough to visit, please phone ahead, since sometimes many visitors come at once. Please spread this news to others who care about Lillian. You can also contact Lynne S [snip] or Nichole H [snip] for more information.

We have heard from many friends, and not surprisingly, some from India! We are
grateful for your caring and support.

With appreciation,
George

A bit of a limb

I'm going to go out on a bit of a limb, and share with you more of what I've been up to since moving to Seattle. Which, come to think of it, is spending a lot of time out on a limb.

Starting this fall, I've been making ministry the focus of my life.

That's such a simple statement. But there are so many things it doesn't say -- about faith and faithfulness, anxiety and fear, joy and peace and simplicity, and more.

This leading has been building for a while, and came to something of a crescendo almost a year ago, when Beloved Wife and I were struggling to discern our next steps.

She was completing her PhD in math, and had started to hear back from post-doctoral jobs she'd applied for. We were trying to figure things out -- not only what to do next, but how on earth to decide. None of what looked best for her was compatible with what I'd thought I was led to do next. We twisted ourselves into some pretty interesting and awkward pretzels trying to make it all work. (The pretzel-twisting didn't work.)

A couple of things helped. One was deciding we trusted that this leading to be in a marriage with each other would not be mutually-exclusive with our other leadings. Three other things that helped were my being willing to listen deeply, even daringly, to myself; my asking for a clearness committee; and Beloved Wife's willingness to trust this before I had good words to explain it.

Beloved Wife was in England for the semester, writing her dissertation in reach of her advisor, who was there on a visiting professorship. I was in Ann Arbor, working, taking a class, and doing intensive physical therapy for an old injury.

I had a series of experiences where discernment came in bright, heart-pounding flashes. Exam questions in my music theory class ("Describe your ideal lifestyle"). An email exchange with a dear friend/former professor and mentor ("I know exactly what kind of 'shop' you should set up!"). A clearness committee meeting with me at Mid-Winter Gathering, with deep worship, deep love, laughter, and tears ("No, you can't hide").

So, I gradually came to understand that my next step was to answer a leading to make ministry the main focus of my life, of my time and energy.

That didn't mean I knew what it would look like.

And I still don't!

I know some of what it looks like, or at least what it's looked like this fall: taking some classes, hosting events for building spiritual community, being available for counseling and spiritual direction, submitting a workshop proposal for FGC Gathering, participating in the life of the Meeting I'm attending here in Seattle, getting to know the local Pagan community a little, making sure I take time for things like dance (my version of "going to the gym") and for teaching dance... But sometimes I think I'm still figuring it out every day.

That's okay with me, for the most part. I don't need to have it all figured out. I don't necessarily need to know where I'm going to end up, just where the next few steps are.

A lot of this last year has felt like this song-and-picture combination:

I feel like I'm crossing a stream in the woods: I can see the rock I'm stepping on, and I can see the next; I can tell there's a mossy bank on the far side, but I can't see all the stepping stones in between. (Or the places where my feet will get wet.) But the woods are green and beautiful; the birds are calling; the sun is shining down through the trees; the breeze is dancing; the brook is singing.

Imani, faith, can come like a spirit
Spirit come like walking on air
Take a step, and trust in the path, and
Mother Imani meet you there.

- from "Imani," by Rachael AK Hazen

"What's this empire coming to?": a politically-correct ancient Roman holiday

More stuff to make you think about perspective. This piece, from NPR, had me laughing out loud. Click here to listen.

What's this empire coming to?

Now they want us to stop greeting people with "Io Saturnalia!" "We have all these different cultures in Rome," they tell us. "We shouldn't offend anyone," they tell us, "We've got to be inclusive."

We've got the barbarians from the north with their tree decorations and their fire rituals. And the weirdos from Gaul, cutting mistletoe with a golden sickle. And the Mithraists, the Zoroastrians, the Isis cults, and, of course, those characters who hang out in the catacombs. "Hail, Winter!" we're supposed to say now.

I ask you, what next: we lose the feast? We stop the Solstice parties? No more honoring Ops, goddess of abundance?

I was buying some greenery down by the Forum the other day, and there's old Macrobius with some Visigoth chick, and she goes, "Gut Jule." And I go, "Hey! In this country, we say, Io, Saturnalia! Maybe you should go back to where you came from." Then Macrobius goes, "She can't, she's a slave."

Whatever.

At this time of year, the Visigoths sacrifice a pig and burn a special log that they dance around, instead of acting like normal people and going to the temple of Saturn.

I swear, I was at this party over at Septima Commodia's house the other day. She always has a Saturnalia party. Anyway, she decorated the place with prickly green leaves. "It's holly," she said, "The latest fashion from Brittania. They all do it in Londinium."

It gets worse.

She had this statue of some goddess from Ultima Thule or somewhere, name of Frigga, sitting right there on the dining room mensa. I mean, this is darned near blasphemous. I'd be scared about what the lares and penates would do if I put that thing in my house. But Septima Commodia just said, "Oh get over it! We're cosmopolitan here." Cosmopolitan. That's what they call it.

Well, by Jupiter, I live in Latium. I'm a Roman. And this empire was founded on the principle that the gods, our gods, must be honored at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. None of this foreign heretical nonsense or these strange customs from Germania or Hibernia or Palestine. I say, "Io, Saturnalia!" and if you don't like it, you can leave.

~ by Diane Roberts

"What If... Obama and McCain Switched Backgrounds?"

Okay, it's a little late... but perhaps now that all the sound and buzz have died down, folks might be willing to look at some of these issues more critically. My thanks to Samuel Lippke for this. - sm

What if?
Obama / Biden vs McCain/ Palin , what if things were switched around? . . . . . think about it.
Would the country's collective point of view be different if McCain & Obama had each other's history and qualifications?
Could racism be the culprit? Ponder the following:

More posts-that-point-to-other-authors

Okay, I know I promised some actual writing from myself... These, though, caught my eye, and I wanted to share them. And I think you get a sense of people by what they find interesting, whether they agree with them or not. :)

More snow...

The National Weather Service is predicting 1-3 more inches of snow... can you believe it?

Photos of Seattle snow

(Note: if you click on the slideshow, it will take you to a larger version.)

Three snowstorms in eight days. Whee!

Fall in Seattle

On Election Day, I went for a long walk and took pictures of some of our gorgeous leaves here in the Montlake neighborhood, and up near the UW Medical Center. Enjoy!

(If you click on the slideshow, it will take you to a larger version.)

Snow... snow... and more snow... in Seattle!

So, here we are in Seattle for the year... where I nearly didn't bring my winter coat with me, thinking to make do with layers of fleece, wool, and Gore-Tex. After all, the average low here in December, the coldest month, is 36 F.

I'm glad I brought my heavy coat. First, we had a week where temps didn't get above freezing, with record cold -- mostly in the 20s F, but then we dipped down into the teens. Then, in the last week and a half, we've had three -- count them, three -- snowstorms which have stopped the city in its tracks. As soon as things get moving again, we get more snow. With ice underneath.

It's rather astonishing.

But, this did make for a beautiful Winter Solstice.

Amazingly, some hardy souls did make it to our house to celebrate with us on Saturday night. Getting home was a bit of a challenge for them, but everyone seems to have made it back safely.

Beloved Wife and I live two blocks from the Arboretum, and less than a mile from the Lake Washington Ship Canal. We've had two beautiful walks -- one Saturday night through the Arb (where, at 1:00 am, people were still out sledding!), and one Sunday afternoon through the marsh boardwalk. I will post pictures. :)

We've had several more inches of snowfall since then.

We are well and truly snowed in at the moment. Wow!

Quick note

I haven't written a thoughtful entry of my own for a while, and I miss it. Things should calm down soon, and I'm hoping to have some time to write -- either next week, or just after Solstice -- which will be nice. There have been a couple of things floating around, waiting for me to write about them.

Winter weather!

We have our first winter storm watch.

Now, I am a total weather geek, and I also love winter weather; so I'm excited at the prospect of actual snow on the ground in Seattle. (Whether or not that actually will happen with this storm remains to be seen, but there does seem to be a real chance of some lowland snow.)

Now I'm glad I brought my winter coat with me, since I'll be taking the bus to Bellevue for a Scottish dance teachers' meeting on Saturday morning. :)

Odetta has died

Odetta died Tuesday. I will miss her presence in this world in much the same way I miss that of Audre Lord.

Miriam Makeba also died this fall.

I am thankful all three of them left the work of their voices.